Sunday, July 27, 2008

going in soon again le....wulala...another cok week..

tdy bball wif brothers...watched run papa run too...rent from videoezy de....

nice show i wuld say....touching...and funni at times...lol...sometimes realli is 人在江湖身不由己 yet u cnt do anythin abt it...ur loved ones tink tt u are juz hopeless...but u dun even haf a choice in de 1st place....

rot at my hse aft tt...watching perfect cut...haha...dog and teo is de last 2 survivors....always 2 of dem remaining at de end de..rot at my hse wif mi..feeling qte shiok to rot wif brothers in a relac mood and juz watch tv and shows....when they leave...i feel qte sad and she bu de...but bo bian...haix....

i gotta miss all these...

i book in straight LSC for de 1st 3 days of de week le...
a bit uncertain and scared sia....
section commander man...
it is finalli my turn to be....

de nxt time i book out...
will it be a friday...
or a bloodi saturday....

3 more weeks...and i will advance into de dark...
de nxt vocation....
will i win...
or will i lose...

BANKAI!!!

dis week is 1 of de worst week ever...in charlie...perhaps in my entire NS life...de whole company morale has reached de btm...when my bunk mates and mi go back to bunk...i can onli hear vulgars...every1 was kp-ing....

outfield is a suck thumb....
section live firing is a wet event...muds and muds...we r juz like bangalas....

dunno why...all our major event sure rain de...den make our morale drop lower...
sergents make our morale even lower...

heat rash...
blisters...
cuts...
burns...
abrasions...
splinters...
body aches....

grats...i m juz so tattered and torn...

this whole week...except monday...we haf been sleeping like for ard 3 to 5 hrs a day onli....
keep chiong until past midnight..den nxt morning wake up 5 plus again
den by right fri book out...den too late le so sat...but at least morning la...
yet our platoon and platoon 1 is made to stay back for corrective training...
book out at 1pm..o WOW...wat a LONG weekend for us...

we tried to do wat we can...we do watever we are asked for...
our PC juz say....
"u all are juz useless...i rather train a bunch of dogs...juz fuck off la"
and here goes half day of our sat...
in army context he of coz zai la...serve how mani yrs le and we r juz ppl being made to serve for de sake of serving....
if i ask him to take A lvl wif mi..i can tok him upside dwn and dwnside up...and he is juz useless alrdy....

ppl are born for different purpose...
somtimes de whole system is juz so rigid and cok....
u might find it unreasonable...
but u cnt do any shit abt it...
why?
coz u dun haf de bloodi rank....

march past NTU when we route march at de end of field camp...
see ppl wearing de square hat and de graduation uniform...
we wearing LVB and helmet...
i see my future 2 yrs dwn de road...
heart felt a sharp pain...
i could be in dere as well...
why de fuck m i doing all these stupid things....
and wasting my 2 yrs....
it could be betta if de instructors are encouraging....
but too bad they are not....
they juz made u feel worse...

how encouraging man....to being labelled useless...
sometimes see some of de instructors...
onli noe how to bark...
den ownself sit dere shake leg...
nvr even show a good example...

whole company...wulala....morale low...super sian...
every1 sleepy...wet...hungry...tulan...dirty....
wat can be worse...

play wif book out timing somemore...GREAT MAN

i m nt angry man...seriously....
alrdy reached de point tt anger cease to exist le...
scold until nth to scold le...
kp until no energy to kp le....
they can do watever shit they wan....
i juz gif a stone face...dunno wat the hell is going on...
and tt is it...
juz stone dere emotionlessly....
tinking why m i so suay to be dwn here...
out of so mani company and i got de best....

and when u tink u can take a break...
nxt week is field camp week again!
nxt nxt week another field camp!
nxt nxt nxt week is last week...which got 1 day outfield....

i cnt wait to get out of CHARLIE....
i m juz...
waiting....

SAF = serve and fuck off
i m waitin for tt day...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

de emo session in de suana wif daryl and kr rox to de core...

we say out how we feel and everythin inside tt suana....sayin everythin in our heart...sweating everythin out of our body....woots...wat a shiok feeling...

tdy watch dark knight wif yumin daryl and kr....nice show i wuld say...de plots ar...wa i see le a bit pressure...a lot mind games going ard....but phrases make sense too...i learn things thrugh movies too...

gotten a bit emo when de show ends....is heartening to see ppl sacrificing themselves for de good of de world but show is juz show...in reality...will dere be silent guardians who juz stay in de shadow to watch over u...if u wanna be a guardian of some1...will u be satisfied to keep contributing without the other party even knowing all the things tt u haf done for her...juz hiding in de shadow?

a lot in mind yet unable to express....

i can onli say....

i gonna book in again....

gathering wif frenz feels good...

BANKAI!!!

now in zhexu hse...dis week probably no time to blog at home...so blog now lo...

dis week is a beri short weekend for mi...sat 2pm book out...which is tdy...den go home rot a while bath den set off for zhexu hse le...stayover den tml go home den nid book in tml le...meaning dis week i nt slping at home at all...zzz...sux la...

nxt week outfield starts le...sianz....my most hated activity...

went swimming a bit at zhexu hse..a bit cui becos realli dam hungry wif gastric pain alrdy...den went suana aft tt..had a little emo session inside...den had bbq in de rain...we somehow succeed in de end...

now actualli feeling a bit emo and tired...mabbe coz usualli book out le can slp in home for 1 nite..but dis week i haben realli rest aft i book out...so de feeling is like chionging straight continuously...and dis week totally nt much admin time at all...dam sux man...

shall go join dem ba...juz go dere stone...lol....ok try blogging tml if i haf time...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

going to book in again lo...wonder when is de PTI selection...but den...i dun haf enuff time to train to meet de std of PTI selection...who can improve so fast man...improvement nid time....

wa i realli wish for PTI sia...is like a vocation tt will affect my 2 yrs and my re-service nxt time...so if cnt get it realli will feel dam sad.....but most prob will be sad..lol

tml de schedule will be a sucky day..gonna stay out whole day until nite falls or mabbe even reach midnight...dam it..i hate live firing...nid wait for whole company....

tick tock tick tock..left ard 30 mins le...

lol sometimes felt tt all these is so meaningless sia...u book out...feels shuang...den sunday u book in again...feels sian...den de cycle keeps go on and on....u book out and in out and in...juz to slowly reach de day u ORD...out of NS for good....

inside sispec realli feel dam sad...i m juz so average inside...other ppl are equally fit or even more gay....haix....

on a happier note...watch finish hellboy and red cliff le...2 show dwn....hellboy wif brothers on sat and red cliff tdy wif xiongjiejie...as usual...she is late like mad....

o ya..we lan as well on sat...feels good man....shouting ard during dota is juz so fun...cs is juz so not for mi...before i squeeze de trigger...click de mouse...or tap de keyboard...i m dead...half of de time lookin at other ppl play...stunned

dunno when den got time to organise bball...but it seems rather hard and nt easy....try ba...soon....

nxt weekend come out jiu bbq at zhexu hse le....lol....long time bo see dem le..tt time meet up i went msia and so i miss it....go his hse mabbe can go de balcony dere blow wind emo a bit...haha...emo feels good at time...

ok...left little bit time to msn wif my brothers....gotta cherish....bb~

dere seems like dere is no path for mi to walk...
any vocation in future oso die...
没路走了

BANKAI!!!

sign up for de PTI selection...

realli realli hope i can get in and go PTI course....

but den...de chance is super low.....

especially when my SOC timing fail and ippt onli silver....

16 more sec in 2.4km to gold and still...i cnt reach at all....

10 flat is my personal best....

9.44 seem so farr.....

i juz feel....

PTI is juz beyond my reach.....

how saddening when dreams are dashed.....

mi and clement aspire to go PTI tgt since de days we are in leopard....

clement still has chance....but i m left behind....

perhaps i shuld haf trained more in my JC life....

nvr tink so far and dunno anythin abt NS during my JC times......

PTI is de course where no outfield and navigation needed...and keep PT...

sth tt at least i can enjoy doing in my 2 yrs of NS....so i wun feel so sucky.....

but den....it seems like i cnt reach it....

i still carry a small little little hope....

a realli dam small one...

i wanna be a PTI!
reference row reference row rdy....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

settin off in an hrs time....damn...aft this 1 hr...it is another 5 days..o damn...it juz feels so long....

this morning sergent called to say book in timing change to 9pm...wah lan eh...spoil my mood straight.....1030 become 9...suck thumb....

now feeling emo liaoz...all de brothers are feeling de same...
teo...kr...olk...clement...daryl...kh...geng liang...weiqi...ys

even dog who dun haf to stay in...
will feel for us...coz he undergoes it too...
he is giving us support behind....
for tt...i appreciate lots......

8 weeks...
chop chop get it done wif...and proceed on to de nxt stage...my final vocation if i nvr go ASLC...
and i dunwan go ASLC man....
perhaps CBRE...but i dunno abt de life dere...
wat if i regret...
aloy says is slack...
some says is not....
i dunno....
mystry...
question mark....
a decision....
de fate of my 1 yr ahead....
wat shuld i do....
how shuld i choose....

anyway...my dad juz bought insurance for mi...
looks like i m prepared to die....


a fren in need is a fren indeed...
3 cheers for Confrerie...

BANKAI!!!

2nd week has ended...tdy sad to say...i exceed my budget...ate mahatthan fish...overspent liaoz la...jialat sia...

tdy got sports day...i m in tug o war...and our team came in 3rd...song bo got trophy to bring home sia....but de bad thingy...i m feeling cramps and aches all over my body...3 matches wif ard 9 pulls in total....each pull will realli drain ur energy like hell de...

watched hancock oso...nice show i wuld say....but sad...u haf to leave ur loved one in order to let her survive....

6 more weeks to go for BSLC....life is gonna get tougher...more shits to learn...more sian things to do...more toilet cleaning....but i tink...i m getting better....

dis weekend gonna pass dam fast...tml book in le...like nt even 1 complete day to rest...but de good thing is...tml 1030 book in...shiok...so late....

if i m on my own...den i juz gotta buck up and depend on myself...


winning is nt everythin....
winning is de onli thing...

BANKAI!!!