Wednesday, February 28, 2007

today lion dance in canteen....nt bad la...earn $460 AND the AMAZING 80 CENTS.....jiao lian lion dam chio...suddenly fall in love wif tt bloody 1-eared lion....juz playing around wif the ba today lor...ya...so malu in the canteen...hiding my face wif the BA.....cock up outift la....

ok aft tt eat some wierd apple crumble pie la...i order from yiming de leh..but the spas thingy is....i dun like to eat pies...WT FISH....den i decided to go L mode coz some things spark me off....
it realli sort of piss me.....

aft tt went cut hair wif cw....wif the accompany of kr....so 3 of us were tgt again...the hairdresser is nice la...she keep talking to me thrughtout the cut....lolz la...i too shuai la...bo bian....today cut finish hair...handsome meter increase by another 20%...haix...cnt stand it...but 1 thingy bad...my fringe gone again...why i cut hair always say dun cut fringe...they still cut shorter n shorter....haix....they realli hate my fringe so much???
we talk abt a skinhead leaving some fringe in the front...WAT A SPAS LOOK???

today i shall sleep early...is 11pm early enuff??...is 1 of the earliest days i sleep...i m realli realli tired....sch is juz so tiring...GONNA CATCH UP ON MY WORK SOON.....if nt i nid to apply for a sweeper's job asap....any vacancies???
pls motivate me man......u r the energy source....

TIME TO SLEEP LE....NITEX

人活着是为了等死，过程最重要，人要活地快乐。
我想，背后的道理，就是知足常乐
我想，这样我已经很开心了

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

BANKAI!!!

Monday, February 26, 2007

ma de....a pissed off world...every1 around me all pissed off...teo sadded abt an incident wif his gal or wat de la....den say liddat le...ask him wat happen...ZIP....refuse tell me anythin...i m quite pissed la....den now kr guai lan wif me..FUCKER sia....out of nowhere tell me he pissed when i ask him send me a SIMPLE BLOODY SONG......my mood good oso change to tulan immediately....den juz say wat happen la...say nth den juz keep saying pissed...ma de...i got things always tell dem...den now like some retards....telling me things halfway den stfu.....i m dam dam pissed now


wtf ppl doing...sometimes i understand...bgr....studies...everythin....juz brings troubles n fustrations.....but bottling things up doesnt help...anythin bui song juz say....bottling up dunno got wat fuck use....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

BANKAI!!!

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You don't really value honesty. You do value getting your way, no matter what. And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem. A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!) Generosity: You don't really value generosity. Your needs always come first, no matter what. And you'll possibly help someone else out... But only if it helps you in return. Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance a fair amount. You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas. You have very few prejudices that you're aware of. And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

wow la..i realise today i face the com for more than 12 hrs le...OMG...gg

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

i juz realise crying under a durian tree....u will haf danger of durians falling on ur head....so got fear...den the more u think of it...the more scared of the durian u are...den fear overcomes sadness.....based on wat yumin tell me....but....when u r in ultimate sadness...wat is life?....life is dirt...die jiu die la...as long as it is a painless process....

today realli kinda bored..nth much to do...i face the com whole day la...nt all dota...but juz sitting around den listen songs...den look around....den explore around my hse...hoping tt it will grow big....talking to the wall and wait for the echo....checking my hp to see if i miss out any sms....wat life is this?.....haix....i realli nth much to say le....but saying nth is dam sian for me...so i juz keep spamming posts on my blog....amazingly...i almost blog everyday.....this shows how sian i am....


i wanna u to noe tt i dunnid to be wif u....i juz hope tt we can stay as best frenz at least...tt we can laugh tgt...and console u when u r sad....i nvr expect anythin to happen in the 1st place...all until u saw tt cat tt walk out of the bag....and everythin is a GG....i m feeling awful inside my heart when u r doing all those things....wonder isit tt i m thinking too much...

BANKAI!!!

yst training too hiong sia...today wake up whole body aching...
yst had a nice talk wif xiong jie jie...until 2.45am on msn....
yst is L mode for me once again....a loner's life....
yst my bball skill sux....i dunno wat i playing...juz jump n jump...
yst cw and sixu was equally sian.....i understand their feelings....
yst u seem like u r avoiding me.....i dunno and perhaps dun wanna noe....
yst i cnt seem to get ur attention and i m tired to do so.....i wuld rather stay alone at 1 side....
yst i got back my test paper and it is amazingly 1.5 over 20.....
yst i realise i m lagging behind in studies and i dunno wat i shuld do....
yst i found out tt my mental strength realli sux coz i always dun haf the determination
yst i thinking abt my purpose of living on this world...coz i dun realli achieve anythin before...
yst i cnt be bothered to run at full speed during the sprint....
yst i had this "heck care" attitude....
yst i was loner wif cw at the canteen while other ppl r playing cards n talking in the wushu room
yst i wore a pinafold (how the fuck do i spell it?) for the 1st time..and look like a spas...
yst i was feeling unwell at kfc....and cnt even finish my chicken.....
yst is a BAD BAD day......i hate yst......

BUT 1 THING I NOE FOR SURE.....
yst is OVER.....


fog of war is blocking my view...i cnt see wat is ahead....perhaps i shall juz maphack la...

BANKAI!!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

today went hongbao river wif the usual ppl....quite L mode today...oso dunno why...recently sleeping more n more....like sleeping is my life la...OMG....if sleeping can forget everythin....why not....but waking up means recalling everythin oso....physically drained today due to the bloody BLOODY pe....siao siao...my leg dam pain now....i nearly died....mentally drained due to the problems i haf to face....after being drained...i always like to be quiet and L mode....coz alrdy so tiring...den still muz talk...

ok my studies is gg le....grats to me ba


whether the cat got come out of the bag anot...i juz haf to stuff it back into the bag....
wonder if u see the cat ma....maybe u saw it, now faking tt u din.....maybe u din see it...
either way....it is still ok currently.....i m contended....
onli u can gimme the motivation to study :)

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

today is a dam dam suay day....aft sch...eat cheese prata...the prata oso fly off my plate.....zzz.....den coming up next is i eat the nuts den the nuts oso can drop on table.....den later weiqi come find me den i nearly fall off the bench....den later a bad news reach me...OMG LA.....i sian le.....tulan man....is like making me panic and tired.....eat steamboat tt time oso suay....ma de...the oil splash onto my finger...DAM PAIN LA.....den aft tt we start gambling....wow la...like total losing....lost 4+ bucks...like a spas....sitting there let ppl slaughter.....den going home...i sit dwn outside liang hse wear shoe...OSO CAN TIO CUT BY THE PLANTS HE PLANT.....ZAI MA?....ultimate suay-ness......


i tot this will happen 1 day...but why isit so bloody fast....yawns....

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

CNY 3rd day....today went von hse...mi n cw met up den von fetch us from sengkang mrt station...reach dere den wish her mum happy new yr den got hongbao....den we started clearing her snacks....den later singhua appear....den later she n singhua went fetch 2 of her frenz...den i fell asleep on the chair...den later a slap on my head wake me up...they back le...so we ate dinner...but i hate to interact wif strangers...so i ate myself without talking...and dun dare to take food oso....sitting beside a stranger gal....makes me more shy....aft eating....mi n cw zao...coz we realli nth to talk....so we went home....


wulala

BANKAI!!!

went PS to watch ghost rider wif a couple of AJ wushu peeps...mi cw zhexu min teng von went to watch this show...nt bad la...but got a couple of times those sudden outburst of monster scare me....ma de....is like got a shock...keep disturbing cw while watching the show...so sorry man....all r so dressed up for today...i still wear like normal...haha...a poser shirt+ jeans = me....who cares man...teng put make up...min wear like gal...von wear like so little...all wear nt like normal jiu dui le....

aft tt we went burger king eat n crap...but nvr crap much...today i L mode again...omg....nth much to say....haf been a loner for past few days...den von went off to meet sing hua....so we departed....

haix...to be said...i m such a loser....lolz...usually can talk loud in grps...but actually i cnt realli start a convo or wat de....usually in grps....is i use other ppl's topic and cont. and juz add spice to it...but i cnt start a convo myself basically....perhaps i m an introvert....so i m so sorry to keep min bored in the mrt trip back home...coz i nvr say a single word to her.....lolz...dunno wat to say jiu shi liddat de....a loner's life.....

today talked to chua zihao....den he got a bit of social probs....haix...when i hear this...i m dam sad for him man...coz i encounter this before ma....some of my frenz as well...which i shall not mention....frenship prob basically surface and it is the worst prob u can face....this is how i become a loner ba...upon recovery, now can switch the mode here n dere....basically frenship prob wun realli affect me now la....coz i haf gone thrugh it...thought thrugh it....and decided....HECK CARE IS THE WORD......but for zihao....hmmm...i dunno wat to say...but....jiayou ba....lead the life u wanted....


i haf many question marks in my heart.....i haf many things to clarify....
this world is nvr fair....some ppl can get the things they wan without any obstacles.....some ppl cnt even get anythin out of it despite the efforts n pain they put in....this is wat i call LIFE....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, February 19, 2007

a simple life...a complicated process....an unwanted ending.....

aft he went off into the night...he walk past a beach....and he decided and sit there and look at the calm sea...the regular tide coming in....the splashing of the waves onto the shore...all these symbolise peace...but deep inside...his hearts is in a turmoil...

some things cnt be judged based on appearance....wat it seems may not be wat it is.....

suddenly...some1 tapped on his shoulder....he turned around....tt is his brother....and the brother sat dwn wif him....not a word is said...they juz both look at the sea and enjoy the peace...

some things are unclear....and is best tt it remains unclear.....ignorance is bliss afterall.....

the 1st sentence sets in....he ask a simple qn, "why r u here?" and the reply is simple as well..."i am perhaps same as u". they den cont. to look at the sea, and the stars of coz.....

endings are often not decided by ourselves....it takes 2 hands to clap afterall....clapping wif 1 hand is wat i call spas.....

inside the brother's mind...."i am juz a brother in her eyes...but it is betta than nth...so it shall stay this way...perhaps....this is the best outcome it can go..." they both stood up....and leave the beach.....fading into the dark....


爱是明明离不开她，却要不得不放弃她，因为她要的幸福，也许我给不了。不敢霸占她，希望看她找到幸福，即使那份幸福不是跟我分享的。

BANKAI!!!

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

ma de...blogspot is always lagging for shit....lets review yst man.....yst CNY performance at AJC is a success...wushu owns upside dwn man....the whole performance is dam cool la....1stly, is the joker threesome sparring....den next is the serious jack...den the spas darren....den the stuntman daryl.....den the popular mi n kr :) ....den the 3 pros individual again although zhijian sword drop...haha....wushu performance causes an uproar in the hall man..so com'on lets rock.....BEST WUSHU PERFORMANCE MAN

coming next....AJ wushu went chu shi.....ma de...the drummer of kun san ROX.....i play ba play until my finger skin peel...and now my other fingers all aching....in e end we earned 1k+ la....HOLY SHIT.....we went white sands den ate carvana....den we use the wushu fund to eat swensens...sad for von who go for her NYJC frenz....now wushu blooody rich....so dun offend us...we can hire assassins anytime....i m sad to annouce tt god of fortune is now sleeping in our wushu room le....beri sorry....aft tt went pasir ris park....

the mrt trip back home is a flop...i m sleeping like a log n drooling....ma de....freaking tired....din even noe when min n kr alight....nearly miss my station sia...physically n mentally tired le...


it was a total flop for me...i dunno wat shuld be my nxt move le...perhaps...i shuldnt move at all...tt is better....too tired to do anythin anymore....

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

recently felt dam sleepy...n tired...i dun feel like thinking abt things anymore...the days r tiring....i still haf a couple of decades before i die...OH GOSH SIAN......i shall go sleep le....

u make me tired...forget it...i shall be a sleepyhead from now....

BANKAI!!!

today training is realli too tired le....i did 2 sets PT and gif up the last set...i guess my mental strength indeed sux...as usual...i always haf low determination.....tt is y i lazy put in effort for anythin....i scared i become reserve for grp event sia.....I DUNWAN....i rather jiao lian scrap all my 3 individual events....coz i like grp event....haix...i cnt imagine how tulan n sian i will be if i nvr get into the grp event team....FUCK.....haix....life sux indeed....now whole body aching...tml will be worse i guess...i m gonna do CNY performance...ma de...i cnt do it la....i shall change my tao lu a bit so tt i can do it...haha...today juz 1st time trying jiu going for performance...crazy ar jiao lian...spas decision.....aft PT went toilet....nearly vommit...was feeling dam unwelll.....

tml V day le...another V day passed....sian...this day is like nth to me liddat lor....wonder how sher is looking at this day....haix....siann-ed...felt guilty again....ma de lor....

tml econs test oso....dam tired now le..haben study finish....I M REALLI TIRED LE....kill me ba....i shall go sleep soon...heck care le...NITEX BA


i wonder wat u r thinking....r ur actions a hint?...or a normal casual action.....i realli wanna noe man......coz it sets me thinking...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

yst finally settle everythin....wake up at 7 and prepare everythin den we set off to ahma funeral....we run here run dere...all the procedures....i until 2+ alrdy dam sian....coz is getting late...den still got sentosa....i tulan n quarrel wif mum somemore sia...she still wan me go home bath den go temple at 1st but i dunwan n attitude...in e end i juz went sentosa aft bathing at ahma hse....and WAT A MAGNIFICIENT SCENE SIA....i shall not elaborate....

reached sentosa at 6...tired n sian mode....juz rot around n took some fotos.....ya....aft tt took the cable and L mode wif cw....went to subway but me decide to go food junction wif cw n yiming....coz food is more filling n cheaper....aft tt go back subway den gg...lolz....the cat run out of the bag liaoz.....OMG......lolz...dunno how to face it oso....but the path afterwards is gonna get tougher....shecks man....i sian diao le....i guess he sian diao oso ba....

reached home le....tired n drained....den played dota wif 4 of dem...the LONER team...but tio own badly....omg man...malu diao....later most went sleep....i dota-ed wif bok....and wulala...Terror blade lvl 13 skadi...solo somemore wif fast lvl up....DAM COOL LA....in e end i got triple kill n 7-1 frag...I LOVE IT MAN.....

cw say this morning meet on9 to dota leh...BUT WHERE THE HELL IS HE sia........i m still waiting now....his hp off....his hse fone cnt get thrugh....i dam tulan now le...i needa study later oso ba....

my maths failed badly..i emerge lowest in class....5.5/32....percentage 17%.....ma de...gg....


i see the light fading off here n dere...sometimes got den sometimes bo....can the blood light juz stay dere for me bo?....

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

juz reached home from AJC...haix...ah ma pass away....gonna attend the wake...until friday leh....tt means maybe i will miss sch from tue(today) until fri....i will try to make it to sch ba...this is nt a period to rest oso....2 yrs ago my ah gong wake....u needa burn the paper continuously...den take turns...den is beri hard to sleep....den mostly u cnt sleep de....den like 2,3 days nvr sleep liddat.....haix...sat sentosa i got the funeral as well...which is MOST IMPORTANT de....now is either i go sentosa aft the funeral or i juz dun go....sian...all tt is planned beforehand is all gone.....also, my mum say 100 days cannot go other ppl hse...coz maybe will bring bad luck to other ppl...tt means i nt going out to BAI NIAN for this yr cny....-_-.....GG sia...den zhexu hse lion dance oso die...den the plan to go cindy hse oso gone...everythin...fuck la....but my mum say if the owner of the hse dun mind...jiu can go.....so i needa ask....haix....so sian now....

kinda flash back memories...when young my both parents working so they pass me to my this ahma to take care...she say aft i bath i refuse to wear my shirts n shorts n she haf to chase around the hse to grab me n wear....finally she bo bian...so she pass to my another ahma to take care of....i remember every holiday my this ahma will come my hse stayover and i will be beri happy becos when i m young..i beri wilful and i always ask my ahma to scratch my back for me...coz beri comfortable...and she always do it lor....den she ask me help her massage den i dunwan...she always gif in to me sia....den until she get stroke...den she sort of nid wheelchair...and she no longer come my hse....and all illness come in...she keep going in n out of hospital...struggling for almost 2 yrs le...i sometimes see liaoz i oso sad...think tt liddat is quite suffering...juz lie on bed whole day feeling weak....haix...now collapse liaoz...i oso dunno is sort of a relieve for her...or wat...but death is inevitable..so juz take in stride.....

i tink i nt beri human sia...i got a bit sad...but nt realli beri sad tt type...dun even haf the urge to cry...but i tink at the final stage where the body is pushed to be burnt...den i will cry n shout...which happens 2 yrs ago for my ah gong funeral....i shall vent it all out on the last stage ba....

sad tt i maybe cnt go sch wif cw for this last week for his PAE days....sorry pal.....now the prob is to catch up wif hwk....gg sia...dun think abt tt ba...


wat a great timing....juz before cny and this happens...now is hindering my levlling up as well...everythin seems to not go smoothly....haix....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, February 05, 2007

today finally see a bit of light....today finally i can do the "study hard, play hard" thingy...today nt supposed to play...but i got play....but i read up on E-field notes...aiya still nt beri sure but still ok la....den aft playing got do GP AQ oso...woah..felt a bit shuang liddat...got study n play....wun feel guilty for nt studying...finally kr join me for game today...lolz..nt bad la...slight improvement....haha....nvr feed can liaoz...

today supposed to stay back in sch to study...but in e end nvr....motivation running out sia...omg...lolz...but i got ask for stay-back...juz tt sixu n kr wan go home...-_-...wat a brother....

my "i dun give a damn" strap return to my side le...lolz...apparently some1 felt guilty AT LAST....so she return to me le...wuahaha....now got strap n dog on my pencil case...look a bit spas...but who cares...

if hong chia nt going lion dance...and they wan me do lion butt....i shall nt go for thurs lion dance training anymore...and i mean it...being the butt sux....i done it in chs...it piss me off....i will go training until 1 day jiao lian ask me practice as a butt...den nxt training i wun appear le....but i got a person in mind...how about the pro lion butt....WAISOON......hmmm...sounds like a good idea.....

ok...shall sleep soon....kr is right...sch is freaking tired....sixu oso think life sux....wuahaha...we brothers so pessimistic wor.....nah...is bored of life le...ppl got ups n downs....we onli got down n down n FURTHER down.....spas life.....ok watever....time to buy rope n climb up.....maybe can see light....den life wun be tt sian....jiayou brothers.....

mr.ari lesson....OMG...is bloody gg...he has an aura of silence around him...his tutorial always beri quiet...like no1 dare to talk liddat....i can hear the cockets (isit liddat spelled?...the type of bug which gif off sound de...chinese-CHAN) sound lor.....so quiet sia...IS EVEN WORSE THAN A LIBRARY....PLS NO MORE PHY TUTORIAL FOR ME...I M DYING.....


i haf a feeling....a feeling tt i m discovered....OPPS.....wulala

BANKAI!!!

juz finished playing a draft match....haix....4-14....ultimate feeder vs....sian....fighting against lion lina and tinker wif fv...wth la...tio fb somemore...cnt farm at all?...go near = gg....sian game....ma de....sometimes tend to think tt i haf become more n more noob....i dislike this feeling....recently always lose in dota.....why isit such tt when i take out the notes to read....i felt like burning it away....why isit tt when i read the words...they appear as strangers to me...i dunno dem and they dunno me...i realli nt fated to bond wif studies....feeling emo now coz of studies and dota...and of coz...ahem...nvm....dota lousier n lousier.....studies more n more blur.....wat is there in life tt i can pursue now....NTH....NOTHING......NOTHINGGGGGGG.....

i shall see a final battle performed by my fren...i noe the chance r low for him....but no matter wat....i m behind him...i noe his every feelings...i understand...coz i went thrugh it before....it is realli tiring to hold on to such feelings...when is time to release....u shuld...jiayou ba...my pal....

jamie talked to me on msn...OMG....actually when i see her on friday....some feelings juz surfaced...afterall...she is the 1st gal i like in life....cannot say tt i still love her but surely tt some feelings of infatuation remains dere....2 yrs of ZERO contact and yet...the small little feelings remain...haha...how amazing....
jamie:"u changed a lot liaoz sia...anyway...i recognise u tt day by your special eyebrown....haha"
lolz....this is wat she said la...but at least she nvr forget me....lol.....crap post...but i juz wanna say...those feelings is juz minor feelings of the past...not love....i justify in advance...haha..

blogspot nowadays so laggy la...or mabbe is singnet....YECKS MAN......


every second...i just felt sian when u r nt around....i wanna see u....catching a glimse of ur smiling face is enuff for me to smile too....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

so fast feburary le....this 1 mth has happened a lot sia...to me...and to my surbodinates....but lets put them aside man...we shall start afresh....this sat going sentosa...a bit looking foward to it....life is realli getting boring...now all revolves around mugging...which is my vital weak point....
is so hard to put my heart n soul into mugging...i rather stare at the ceiling la...talk to the wall and wait for the echo la...rot online waiting for ppl to talk to la....and many more...but nt mugging...

yst saw jamie in PS...ma de...dunno is suay or lucky...but i got mixed feelings when i see her lor...happy and yet awkward...felt tt my face is hot when she n mable called out my name...and beri fast...i drag von teng n sixu out of the shop....GONNA RUN AWAY...haix...2 yrs nvr in contact and suddenly she appear....suddenly at a loss and i dunno hw to react sia...felt sian immediately and i hope to go home asap...dun wanna stay any longer...but teng n von still shopping and go to the men-forbidden area...but who cares....mi n sixu found 2 seats...SAT DWN IMMEDIATELY....woots...haf the feeling tt having a butt is so bloody fortunate....our legs r aching and stomach muscle ache is torturing us la....in e end finally went home...went home alone...wat a loner....watever...


wat a day....and wat an encounter....
i m thinking of u right now...this moment....i wanna feel your presence...

BANKAI!!!