Thursday, May 31, 2007

yst watched pirates 3....qte funni la....but wat makes me keep laughing...is tt u r by my side... :)

jack sparrow qte cool la....good show dere....lucki got subtitles yea?

morning went for wushu SL.....and i was beri sian la...coz muz perform wushu...and muz take care of old kia.....wah lau la...how to interact wif dem...morning jiu sian le...von n sixu came late tgt...for 30 mins...they met and come....haix...wat a great scene for a start...and de night before i juz cried....den cont de agony...ma de....and somemore i got stomach ache...diarhrea la...freak...long time dun haf le.....dam dam sian...den eat von gif de bread as breakfast...felt like vommiting...later at de botanic garden...eat de food...oso nearli vommited...i guess my bodi is nt in a beri good condition i guess....de old kia i got is qte a smart kid....so i able to talk to her a bit...her grandson in HCI...omg...tt is how fated i m wif HCI....i hate HCI la...

thrughout the wushu peeps keep stayin tgt and talk while i keep talkin wif my old partner...and another partner...i tink tt is von's partner...juz tt she is beside my partner...den she talk to me..so i respond...i muz entertain 2 elderly sia...a challenge....

this is mi and my partner!!! her name is ah phoon....

thrughout onli 2 elderly dunnid wheelchair...and got 1 keep lookin aft another 1.....they look like good frenz man...felt for dem.....so took a foto....

aft tt sent dem back.....and tt is de end....de trip to botanic garden ends like this...simple but fruitful day.....being wif de elderly makes me forget my troubles for tt moment....mabbe when mi n kr become old le...will be like de 2 elderly...kr take care of me :)

aft tt jiu went pirates 3 le...i m dead beat man....i m glad...de day ended well in e end....

the 3 hrs inside de cinema rox....
coz u r by my side :)
i luv u man!

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

nw is nt my determination to slp earli...went to sleep at 11.30 liddat....toss n turn until 1.05am...still cnt sleep...rox...onli tears keep flowing out uncontrollably....felt dam spas...in e end gif up...come out to use com....i shall go dota ALONE....forget abt everythin....

"sry din hear de fone so nvr pick up".....
it took u more than 6 hrs to realise i called u.....
i tink onli fools will believe tt....

i felt stupid...crying over u...haix....long time since i realli cry out...
u broke my heart....
and now...i m tired le

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

today is a fucking bad day....ya...fuckk...i mean...FUCK!

BANKAI!!!

yst nvr blog...so today blog... :)

yst went airport wif shuwen....i was dam dam late...she say meet at 1245 den in e end we met at 2...opps man...all my bad...paiseh ar...haha...den we reach le...i haf confusion btw terminal 1 and 2...so a bit luan at 1st...finalli meet tio le...went to eat popeye....as usual...its marshed potato rox man...lolz...chio la...but too bad i too long nvr eat...den i forgot tt popeye can upsize drink and add 1 more side for juz 1 buck...shit man...but nvm la...still eat until beri shuang....

aft tt went to search for a place to study.....found a place to sit dwn....but not look at airplanes...is look at burger king -_- spas man....but i did atomic tutorial...still ok la...i oso dunno wat i shuld study...ma de...nt i dunwan study...is dunno wat to study...like qte aimless la...dunno where to start wif....ok watever...we got bored...so she play my fone...while i sleep on her shoulder....i realli fell asleep la....is realli realli fell asleep....den she wake me up...say got call...i answer....den the person say wrong no....wt fish....i tio woken up by a bloodi wrong no...sian diao la....i wanna remember de no....den nxt time 3am call her and ask her wake up go pee....ta ma de....

aft tt took some fotos...but is qte spas la...coz my hair beri long...and becos since holiday...i haf been sleeping late like mad...like 3am liddat?....all to dota....so face a bit gg oso....but i now decided to go back to my 11+ sleepin time....to regen my face...haha....tml SL die le la...wun recover by tml de lo...go dere malu onli....

aft tt we keep walkin ard...and dunno doing wat la....and she tryin to trick me to take mrt wif her...say aljunied near yew tee dere...and kr fooled me wif her...nice fren dere....but in e end i still take bus home la...got direct bus...but i felt bad...haha...nvm la..nxt time den compensate her....

went home....take a look at my hair....and exclaimed!!! GG so today i went to cut hair....haha.....nt bad la....qte nt tt thick le...but face is still a prob.....today i sleep at 11 sharp....hope can improve a bit...haha...tml SL will see von leh....5 days nvr see her le...haha...

msn no1 lor...sian la...cw and xiongjiejie in camp...i dam bored dwn here....so u 2...come back asap man....

juz when i think less of u le....
ur sms came....
bringing back images of u in my mind...
oh man....i haf to start all over again....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, May 28, 2007

holiday 3rd day...and it seems like i haben been doing anythin...haha...still say wat BANKAI....juz say shuang sia...siann-ed....dun realli feel lyk studying....recently dota-ing...realise....actualli i haf become qte noob le...argh....needa improve back....felt so noobish la...ta ma de...sian la....

holiday 3rd day.....and i haben seen her for 3 days le...haix...wt fish....lolz....but worst is i oso nvr sms her....2 days nvr sms her le....oso tink i shuldnt sms her ba....mabbe she everyday going out to study wif singhua....shall nt disturb her....

juz created a chnnl on mirc...wuahaha...hope 1 day it will become flooded wif ppl and supporters....it makes my spirit burns man....muz make it popular...haha...but before tt...ownself muz get pro...so now is FULL-TIME dota training...jiayou!

i can alrdy foresee my mid-yrs....at most can pass a bit bit....dun expect too high a grade le....haha...but who cares la...

recently haf been sleeping late...dam it...due to dota lo...so i muz start sleeping earli once again....so BOK...stop dragging me until so late...zzz...my determination to sleep earli is dam dam low de la...dota overrides my determination...zzz....

该忘了你对不对
我应该坚强面对
学会遗忘
不能像爱的挣扎
i will use dis holiday to forget u....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

holiday starts le...and tt symbolise the time to mug....i wun full time mug la...is almost impossible for me to do tt la...i shall dota, bball and mug...haha....actualli 1 mth...for 5 subjects...a bit hard la...and is catch up from J1 topics until now sia...qte a gg...but i shall try....aim for as many As as possible....and jiayou to yvonne too....get As oso...if nt she always tink studies sux...if she get A or some good results...i tink she will gain some interest in study ba...

like to play bball match more n more...dam shuang when u get the ball in and CHOP!!...but i muz train on cutting cross ppl and lay-up...my cutting and defending sux...i dun usualli def de lor...onli when he wan shoot den i jump up try to block...

later going for bball match...which is rather soon...every1 late sia...olk n teo say late...den kr oso say he late...den later kh say waitin for liang..OSO late...haha...nvm la...coz i oso late...wuahaha...nxt week or watever gonna organise 5v5 bball match....lolz...my summoning skills....lcpsk + woodlands kia + wateva gang....woots...BIG COMBI.....

so...every1...jiayou for mid yrs ba....

BANKAI for mid yrs....
hope i got de stamina to go on for 1 mth sia....

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

today played 2 dota games...dis time without olk...all alone.....

owned both games....both games holy shit...dam shuang...i nt often holy shit de...but today 2 games all holy shit....play 2 games 2 games gg and holy shit...cool la

1st game...randomed ck...chaos knight....final score....18-3...can solo roshan and still full hp....end game wif threads satanic reaver and mkb......

2nd game...randomed prophet....final score....22-0....oso can solo roshan but not full hp....end game wif threads deso burrize assult and ageis......best prophet i haf ever played....got 1 triple kill...a few double kills and a quaraple kill....GOD DAM GAY MAN!!!!

conclusion...dota makes my day better...at least i m feeling happier right now....

perhaps xiong jie jie is right....
i shuldnt cling on to this 1-sided love relationship....
mabbe 1 day i will gif up ba....
but tt will be e day when i m realli too tired to hold on...

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

tt day i talking wif xiong jie jie over msn...den i ask her a simple yet hard to ans qn....
if 1 day suddenli i die...will von regret nt treating me well enuff?

so now i ponder....

if 1 day i die,
will she regret nt treating me well enuff?

if 1 day i die,
will she cry over my death?

if 1 day i die,
will she miss my presence and me being by her side whenever she meet into trouble?

if 1 day i die,
will she suddenli feel tt i dote on her de most afterall?

if 1 day i die,
will she remember me forever and ever?

if 1 day i die,
will she accept my invitation to study tgt, juz the 2 of us, if i were given de chance to ask again?

if 1 day i die,
will she recall those days when i taught her chemistry and maths and studies?

if 1 day i die,
will she remember the times when i throw tantrum regarding her and sixu?

if 1 day i die,
will she always still thought i m dere and call out for wilson and den realise tt i m dead and she started crying again?

if 1 day i die,
will she miss those times when i always wait for her to pack and walk out of LT4 tgt aft phy lect?

if 1 day i die,
will she recall the times when i always gif in to her no matter how wilful she is?

if 1 day i die,
will she feel touched when this blog is exposed to her and she noe abt all tt i haf done for her?

if 1 day i die,
will she accept me if all were to restart over again?

if 1 day i die,
will she regret not to cherish me when i am alive?

if 1 day i die,
i m sure tt all these answers tt i haf pondered over will nvr reach me...
coz i m dead....

BANKAI!!!

today is a dam dam dam dam bad day....haix...at 1st still nt bad de lor...qte happi de lor...but in e end...haix...dunno y my leg still gt de sprain de feeling when i dunno i sprain it leh...den bball at 1st keep blocking kh den later kh wanna mark me until like siao...den i beri hard shoot back....den wan block him oso keep tio burn...got 1 opponent qte pro den we tio own in bball 7-2...sian...felt tt i m tio suann-ed by kh...later go back i beri hungry den stomach a bit pain...mabbbe is gastric ba....go back le saw sixu n von talking...ma de...den later sixu go change become me n von...but von nvr talk...studying econs...den i ask her dun study leh...talk....den she study...zzz....i qte sian becos before i went for bball i waitin for her to finish her hwk so tt can talk...but haix....den i jiu a bit bui song tt she can talk to sixu bt nvr talk to me...ma de....den aft tt when going home...i ask her wait for me at foyer for e rest...den she say but sixu going off le...den i sibei tulan le...den i say, "go la go la...ma de" den she look at me a while...den she realli go off....haix...den i sian le so sms kr tt i nt gg for dinner....den i go home...den i saw von nvr cross de bridge...she took bus wif sixu la...fuck la....opposite bus stop got direct bus...she nvr take...she take this bus which require her to change bus....ma de la...i sibei pissed off.....

den confrontation again lor...i nearli say out abt i fake happy and everythin la...but in e end still held back...i juz sms her tt she forever nvr spare a thought for my feelings de...and etc etc...lazy say le....in e end i tell her i juz becos lose in bball and gastric and my sprained leg tt make me pissed den i vent my fustrations on her nia....

sometimes i tink like onli i keep doing things for her....den she nt doing anythin for me...or even care abt my feelings....a bit sian...and somemore she din even noe la...fuck it.....today took off mask and tell her i bui song le....haix...but now ok le..so tml de mask is back again...aiya watever ba...i qte tired wif such things le....no longer can tell cw n kr abt it...i tink they will say i lame...so forget it....take everythin alone ba....

called shuwen and complain to her....den she talk until cry again lor....becos her interview screw up...i always qte helpless when she cry la....haix....i sux man....anythin ba....

dota is still my best companion....~dota, u rox!~

somtimes feel tt i m qte alone la....
loner's life indeed is loner's life....
spasism.....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

haf been qte long ever since i blog...haha...haf been qte lazy to blog abt events ba...and now 1 has stacked aft the other...sian...gif a brief summary jiu suan le ba....

fri had training...but din realli train...haha....i juz ran for 7 rounds on de track as warm-up...de 5 rounds of running is good....i m juz running behind u....lookin at ur backview....and i feel rather happy juz running wif u...and i hope the run will nvr end...is de 1st time i m running wif u sia...
aft tt played bball....i love bball match la...qte shuang...aft wushu they went sumo hse...de place i hate de most...so i din go....but shuwen called me and come out find me juz before i leave amk....so we talking den she suddenli cry lo...haix...she cry make me feel lyk crying oso...she thinking of her ex...haix....coz i let her listen to black wings...den i tell her dis song haf de feeling tt i haf nth left...den she say she realli haf nth left le...den she cry...haix...den i say gals so good...can cry...we cnt even cry la...but she cry le den i jiu qte sian le...coz i oso qte haf nth left....so got de feeling of wanna cry...but oso nvr cry la...how can guys cry in front of other ppl...haha....sometimes i realli muz thk shuwen a lot a lot....she always cheer me up and pei me even if no1 pei me....haix....thx a lot...but she wun see dis post anyway....

sat is college day....qte spas la...played bball match wif sixu's cls...in e end ps daryl....den all go home....haix...qte boring anyway....von went HCI dance nite wif singhua....so...ya tt is all abt it...

today lcpsk n woodlands kia come my hse....i m qte a bad host actualli...whenever my frenz come...i din realli bother abt dem...they oso will treat my hse like is realli their hse...so tt is nice...haha....von called me la!!!..although it is juz to ask abt math qn...but i m equalli happi.... :)

now i qte miss her le la...feel like calling her la....haix....i m juz too humji to do tt....

喜欢一个人，就应该对自己有自信
但是，我不是不想没有自信
而是，我平凡无奇而你像灿烂星星
我应该相信，人定胜天吗？

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

today stayed back in sch to do quantum...in e end nvr do at all....zzz...instead teach von hw to do binomial distribution....although i nvr do anythin...teaching her is a beri xin fu thingy....i dun mind learning nth as long as she learns sth....felt qte happy until she sit wif sixu while i m on another sofa...so i sian jiu sleep....in e end i go over sit wif von...dun care le...

de day ended wif a sms by singhua...which i saw...ma de sian....haix suan le...went home wif kr den....he saw de singhua sms oso den he alrdy noe my feelings le...wat a great fren....i tink if cw is here he oso will noe immediately tt i m sian although my face wun change....(coz got mask ma)

went home spamming on de new song i receive....black wings!!!! nice and emo song la....i intro u all to this song man...juz sms-ed her.....and no replies...haix...sometimes sms and sms will slowly feel 心灰意冷 de....coz is like sms her but wun reply...rather sms xiong jie jie or shuwen la...at least will haf replies???sms von is like talk to wall liddat...and is a wall without any echo....ma de...

reach home dota den nvr do quantum...haix...do over de weekend ba....


teacher : class....today i wan u all to do an essay on "My Ambition"
de whole class cheered becos they like to write abt their dreams...except for A who is stonning dere.....
at de end of de day....every1 passed up.....
next day...teacher returned de marked essay to every1 and she called A to stand up....
teacher : why did u write such a lousy essay? u wrote.....i haf no ambition, no dreams
A : if dreams cnt be fufillled....why do u nid to haf 1? if determination doesnt bring u to success....why do u try so hard in de 1st place?
teacher : but at least u noe u haf tried ur best....
A : a failure is a failure....pls dun tell me to at least be a dilligent failure....tt is qte spas...
teacher : ..........

right here...i m still holding on to this almost impossible dream....
and wif determination...will dis dream come true 1 day?

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

finalli blog template goes back to normal...i m sick of de guai lan template le...ok lets get started....

today leg and stomach muscle ache...ma de...sneeze stomach oso pain la...all becos of????....NAPFA....

yst is NAPFA....got gold...finalli....everythin is easy except 2.4....ma de...results of my gold!!!
pull-up : 8
shuttle-run : 9.4sec
sit-up : 48
standing broad : 233cm
sit-n-reach : 46cm
2.4km run : 11 min 53 sec

2.4km run....i dunno why....aft 5 stations...i felt like sleeping le....den 1st 2 rounds of 2.4....i m amazingly tryin to keep myself awake while running la...this is de 1st time i find myself feel like sleeping even when i m running...de feeling is dam wierd...i dunno hw to describe...but it is sort of like de feeling where i struggle to keep myself awake during tutorial....and now is DURING RUNNING??? omg la...my eyes keep closing while running while i struggle to keep dem awake....den oso not much energy...(will u haf energy while u r sleeping?) dam it la...i realli felt like giving up right at de start...to get to sleep....haix...but everythin at least a C le...2.4 C i jiu gold le...so cannot gif up...i endure on until 3rd round...den de sleepiness start to go away...den 3rd and 4th round is my best lap instead of most ppl's 1st n 2nd...mostly at 1st sure beri good coz a lot energy den is best lap de...mi 1st 2 laps wasted due to sleepiness....5th lap i tryin to tehan wif a bit of stitch and tiredness....6th round i gg...i walk-sprint-walk-sprint le....

near 6th round...in 5th round towards de 6th....i run like zombie la...kr pushing me to jiayou...he say he see liaoz oso scared...i run like i will fall dwn anytime...even andrew chin ask me to stop...but i say last lap le..pls...den heck him n run....finalli did it....last 1/2 lap i sprint like siao....den overtake kr by 2 sec....wah...i sprint wif de name "yvonne" in my mind la...

finalli finish wif napfa....aft 5 attempts....
1st - took everythin le gotten silver le den nid to re-test coz aurther lim screw timing up for 2.4
2nd - retest for sports cca ppl but i got a cold on tt day so nvr take it...
3rd - can test again but hand injured during wushu comp...
4th - can test AGAIN but got college day rehearsal...
5th - the current gold status!!!

quite satisfied ba....aft tt bball wif shuwen n sixu....my bball passion slowly coming back...i now wanna juggle wif 3 thingys...bball...dota...and studies...(i noe i gettin more n more greedy...but who cares?...i can do it..haha) actualli i dun mind a 4th thingy to juggle la...and tt is BGR...haha...but not i say wan jiu can de...muz von nod her head den can...which is qte impossible...so.........................
suan le ba!!!!

now almost every night on fone wif shuwen....dota oso multi-tasking...talkin on fone n dota-ing a bit hard la...muz think of topic to say and dota at same time...but sometimes i can handle man....haha

today dam earli come home...nvr go for vball...actualli wanna go becos von is going...but who noes she going wif her class....so i sian le jiu go home do ionic equilibria and dota suan le...liddat better la....

but now...i qte miss her la....haix...miss talking to her!!!!....i 2 days nvr intiate sms to her le la..until today she sms me abt her math result...i qte happy abt tt though...actualli i nvr initite sms le is becos tt time i sms twice den she nvr reply...den she say burst for tt day le...singhua morning sms her...i tink i say this before but juz say again ba....she 1 day can sms 30+...den i onli sms like 3 onli den she nvr reply le...all 20+ of de rest go to singhua?....since liddat...i might as well dun sms...treat me like dirt....sms to find troubles for myself....i will cont wif tt ba....oso rather long nvr call her on fone le....oso sian wif it le....

i m paying 2 bucks here....
any1 willing to take up this job?
de job is..........
assassinate singhua for me...

BANKAI!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

我啊，想做的事情还有很多。

想跟朋友合伙开一间小店，
想跟朋友一起买一间房子住在一起，
想锻炼到能够做20个pull-up,
想疯狂的买很多很多漫画，
想做到那些帅气的wushu stunts ( 劈叉，旋风腿，侧空翻）

如果能有5次人生的话，
这样子我会在五个不同的地方出生，
5 次都吃不同的东西吃到撑，
从事5种不同的工作，
还有5 次都。。。。。。。。

喜欢上同一个人！


那就是你，我爱你

BANKAI!!!

yst was mummy day...nvr even wish her happy bdae....as usual...i keep saying ma de at her...but nt i dunwan say....is i feel wierd saying such touching things....so in e end i use sms...guess tt is me...qte hard to say such things...relatives come and we all went dwn and eat...

suddenli realise i beri long nvr mix wif dem le...is like around 3 mths le...and de feeling is nt bad in a long while...talked a lot wif justin, my buddy.....and my aunt even gif me 20 bucks secretly...juz nice to clear my debts sia....tt is how i m always being adored in de relative tree coz i m de 1st grandson to be born....haha....my ah ma and aunts take care of me when i m young becos mum nid to work...so they adore me a lot...but when i grow up...i nvr even go back to ah ma hse le...changed towards de evil side instead....guess i let dem dwn....but still...they treat me beri well....i remember once when i go ah ma hse...every1 treat me like king...coz is a V.I.P tt rarely appear....haix...felt ashamed....

de shark fins and everythin is nt bad....haha....eat until dam full la...once i eat finish i zao home 1st...to dota....as usual...treat relatives like dirt liddat....haix...nvm abt tt ba...

today is a bad bad day....de name singhua juz keep appearing and like revolving around yvonne...dam it la...den still muz smile...until yvonne zao le den i finalli can emo for a while...today lemme rest ba...take off tt mask for a while....haix...even hanging urself nid to take a breath....is dam dam hard to smile....haix...I HATE MASK!!!!

she nvr reply 2 of my sms lo....den i ask why when i meet into her...den she say sms burst for today...and why?....coz singhua this morning sms her...ma de?...1 day she can sms 30....i sms like 3 onli den she no more for me le?....20+ to singhua...tt is great...she nvr even spare a bit of thoughts for my feelings....i wonder sometimes...if i m juz being spas and doing everythin for u which u wun appreciate.....TA MA DE SIAN

rest assured....
de mask will be back on my face tml again....
today rest a while nia....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

today went to study wif cw n shuwen....shuwen was dam late...so mi n cw walkin ard J8...walk past de christianity shop and saw de name tags...and SO FATELY.....wilson n yvonne r side by side..shuai la...i took a foto immediately...(but blogger got prob...i cnt upload...dam it man..wasted a good foto)

aft shuwen arrive...we go to bishan library to mug...shuwen reading her story book...cw doing his maths...i doing my AC tutorial...doing tutorial w/o olk is hard man...i haf to depend on myself...no surbodinates to help me...dam it....but nvm...i m a genius afterall...so i did until qn 5...5 out of 7 qn in de tutorial...nt bad...finishing soon le....

den we went back J8...den we see de shop again....ma de?...now beside yvonne is nt wilson...is a bloodi VICTOR!!!....i remove the victor n wilson is juz behind it...so is back to wilson n yvonne...happy tgt.... :) aft walkin ard J8 like a pudge...we come upon the shop selling videos...so we stone outside and watch JUZ FOR LAW...qte lame and funni la...den cw sian den go home le...left me n shuwen...we watch de whole show la...den in e end go to 7-11 buy drink go rooftop sit dwn (as usual)....den i make her upset...saw a gal in her camera den i say who is this...so ugly...den she say is her sis...den she started saying me...say i always tok without talking..den say i always say other ppl....even strangers oso wanna say...den she keep on saying me and saying me until she cry...zzz....den i dunno hw to console....but in e end ok le :)

talked to von on fone juz nw...and she was saying abt she fan....becos of?...SINGHUA OF COZ...haix....i hear liaoz oso sian....singhua angry wif her she jiu fan...den she say why everybody like so happy den she so fan...den i say u always smiling..where got fan...den she say can fake de wad...den i say...den wat makes u tink tt other ppl de smile is real de....den she say coz they look real....haix...until this point i dun feel like saying much le...de person she is talkin to is worse off than her la?...and is a 100% fake happy guy....a retarded guy.....a spas guy.....so she cont to say she went to see sixu ninjado juz nw...coz she wan take back de chem mindmap back from him...haix...siann-ed as well...but nvm...needa smile coz de mood of a person can be heard over de fone...so fake muz fake to e end....she oso ask me abt my missing blog...well...i say i nth to blog le...so close it....

i was telling kr....if 1 day....i suddenli die...or go missing....do me a favour....tell von my blog url...at least i dunwan to die w/o the gal i like not knowing my real feelings....den kr scared tio....he say why u suddenli say all these....dun scare me leh....but actualli i realli nvr mean anythin la...haha...but he liddat say i qte touched...at least i noe some1 will care if i die...i wun suicide la...i was saying juz in case ma...coz u nvr noe when u will get into any accident or wat...so i was juz telling kr this important thingy tt i m concerned abt...even if i die....

is 3am le...haix...failed to sleep earli today again....becos von suddenli online la..if not i sleep at 1130 le...siann-ed....but is worth it for her le..though is cheer her up becos singhua made her fan...like clearing other ppl's mess liddat sia? help ppl clean their ass....ma de...so i look like an ass cleaner?....OIC!!!

gonna sleep soon le....so nitex ba ppl....

i wish for de day...
when i can remove my mask....
and stand right in front of u....
lettin u see thrugh me....
knowing how i realli feel....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

today went back hci pass sher de present....but i nvr sense much hapiness leh...aiya actualli i oso dunno....but i realise tt quite a lot of her frenz see me jiu feel like whacking me...so i tink i m qte hated in hci or watever ba.....haix...sian diao de feeling sia....now negative 35 bucks...WTF....all becos of borrowing money from other ppl for sher present...1 person 27 bucks la...crazy loz...sian liaoz...i wonder how i m gonna get thrugh de nxt week...but sher doesnt noe abt i in such a heavy debt.....

today training...once again...i eat snake....nvr train at all la...was playing bball...i like to play bball match more n more le...de feeling of getting all de rebounds....shiok....den aft tt went to de track dere and sit dere wif shuwen....de feeling is good...de cool breeze is good...den when i look over to de netball court...wt fish?...saw sixu n von dere....sian la...de scene is nt good liaoz....i immediately sian diao...den i juz lie dwn....den shuwen was asking me nt to sian....haix....how to nt sian...in e end decided to walk towards dem...so we went dwn walk towards dem....den situation jiu change le...shuwen wif sixu and mi wif von :) haha...dis is good....

den i jiu see von jumping ard like a monkey and doing spas things while i lie dwn on de floor to look at her spas...den aft tt training end le....jiu went to eat kfc....the watever gang is sitting tgt again....mi kr cw sixu...haha...back to de jolly mood....every1 laughing over one another's joke...LAO DA of watever gang....and tt is me :) good man...haha....aft tt went home....de trip back to mrt station is good....i keep talking to von....shuang la...den got sing a duet part wif her oso...hehe...so happi la....

ok so generally today is a mood-changing day....from sian and emo den slowly events change to become happi.....bt too bad she cnt use hp much in hse...so i no longer can call her....wt fish!!!

dota juz ended...1-11 wif axe...ta ma de...a bit tulan la...feed until like a dunno wat...haix...no confidence in myself le....recently kept feeding...taking over bok's place soon...haix watever ba....
lao da of watever gang jiu shi liddat...everythin oso watever n sui bian n anythin.....

not dunwan care...is too tired and unable to care.....energy source limited afterall...we r humans...de psychological obstacles keep appearing and appearing and as we tell ourselves to hang on dere and nvr gif up....1 day....we will get tired....i saw cw post and haix...de exact sentiments appear....sometimes i think....everythin tt i did for her....will it be worth it in e end...or juz tt i m being a spas and do everythin n care for her while in her heart...dere is onli 1 and onli....stupid FISH....argh...dam it.....

enuff said...now to results...math test flop...but i din realli care...i haben started on math...so failing is expected...35% for math...but chem i pass....but still ok...nt especially happi abt it...juz normal feeling coz i qte expect myself to pass...if de result is a B and above...ok den i will be happy...coz i prove myself to be great le....

time to sleep...1.20am le...pimples sux man...tmd....shuai ge oso can become non-shuai ge...oh ya remembered 1 more incident...today tio bird shit on my hair....fuck man...i hate birds....(but i hate fish more...he is worse than shit) sian la...de whole thingy dam disgusting la...cw can be witness....tryin to be funni sia...shoot me wif shit...at 1st i tot who throw stone at me in canteen den i turn ard....no1 familiar leh...den a bird fly pass den i think...gg....i stretch my hand to touch...and indeed...grey-brownish things on my hair...FUCK!!!!....cw and me run to toilet immediately and i put my whole head into de basin n wash n wash n wash....i nearli vommited somemore....wah lau eh...think of it jiu feel disgusted....haix....

now chuan becoming better le...haha...no longer scold me...and treat me qte nice somemore...so i no more grumbles....haha....but i will still mug la...wuahaha.....(din u realise my piss duration is nt beri long....)

ok a rather long post...realli muz end le...drag to 1.24am le...sai....time to sleep....cya guys....

u r the 1 who decide if i will become emo....
u r the 1 who decide if i will become happy....
u r the 1 who decide if i will feel fortunate....
u r the 1 who decide if all de things i do is worth it...
u r the 1 who decide my every single actions....
u r the 1 who i will wish to share my joys and sorrows wif....
u r the 1 who is always so beautiful in my eyes....
u r the 1 who rock my world to de end and back to de start....
i m still hanging on...wif watever amt of energy i m left wif....
cw....lemme gif u some energy too...lets persevere tgt....

OFF U GO...PIMPLES!!!....
*sleep earli....sleep earli...sleep earli.*
opps..i failed...

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

today is a qte sian day...coz von kinda got into some sian stuffs...which make me sian oso....morning before assemble i got to noe abt it...den i go back to cls for morn assembly...even yong sheng notice tt my face a bit wierd...he say why u look so stressed...haha....

i pon GP lecture again today...1 month le...i tink if mrs tan find out...i m realli god damn dead....

now trying to do maths tutorial....binomial distribution quite hard la...i m trying...

bball session is fun today...the 3 musketeers own...i own in jumping....SHUAI!!!...like playing wif dem liddat...fooling them around...

letting the 1 u love grumble to u....and hope tt she will be better later....this simple wish is nt bad afterall....but she mentioned abt singhua again....zzz....sian...still muz put a smile on my bloodi face...ok bb off to tutorial....

i juz wanna say...
i still love u

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

this is a test tt cw lemme do....dunno true anot...some true some nt true ba...

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

You feel that you should be appreciated far more than you are but no-one seems to care! You feel that you are receiving less than your share and the main problem is that there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. The inner stress that you are experiencing makes you quick to take offence but you realise that at this particular moment in time there is little that you can do to relieve the situation.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

link - http://www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm

BANKAI!!!

Monday, May 07, 2007

today phy spa...i was qte relaxed all e way until de break before econs...den i start panicking...guess i over-confident abt my memory....i started memorising de whole chunk of spa notes into my mind...within 1hr!!?? haix...aft tt i bring into econs tutorial and cont wif it....den aft tt de 1/2 hr break oso...in total...de average time i take to memorise the whole peice of work is 2hrs...i sux man....but go into de exam hall...everythin juz come out...juz de same as chem skill A spa...haha...word for word...everythin go into my paper....lemme tell u ba...1 of my talent lies in memorising...but for chem spa...it is even better...i juz read thrugh twice den more or less memorised le...wif little effort den memorise de whole thingy le...shuai la...

when doing tutorial oso same..i onli refer to notes while doing tutorial den even when suddenly got chem test...i din noe abt it so of coz nvr study...yet de info in de notes juz come out...and i got 14/20 la...NT BAD RIGHT!!!! this is how powerful my brain is...dun see i usually fail in everythin...is juz i nvr study nia k?....if i study....confirm nt bad de...now i oso not considered studying yet la?...i m juz doing my tutorials nia leh....if i study...unstoppable streak le....if i MUG...HOLY SHIT liaoz....but when heaven gif u sth...he sure take away another....he gimme intelligence...but he took away my dilligence....fair n square....

now tt i haf worked on chem n phy tutorial...i m gonna start on math soon as well...math is my best subject afterall...so i start later than other subjects coz i believe i nid less time to catch up...haha....

YES...today tried pull-up in sch again...and it is still 6...so it means tt my standard is 6 now le...shuai dai le...but how come when i press a part of my hand...it feel pain....aiya heck la...i tink it wun break la...

now gonna do complex den later ask olk dota wif me!!! haha....jiayou ba!!

recently happier indeed...though when i think abt tt in von's heart...there is always yep singhua...i feel dam unhappy....but...nowadays...becos i appear to be fine...she is treating me better and better and there is like no awkwardness at all....i like dis feeling sometimes :) haha....guess wat i did is right...haha....if i wanna do sth...i will haf de determination de...juz whether i wanna do it anot....so betta dun underestimate me juz becos i m a slacker....

today in reading room saw her hp...yellowboy...singhua again...ma de....wonder if they r getting close again...shit man....appear to be normal when i see de sms...haix.....den she nvr feel vibration i still show her de hp and say got sms la...reply him....felt spas.....

singhua > me
wat a cruel fact.....
and yet....
i haf to accept it...
wif a smile on de face....
and tears in my heart....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

update 1 thingy on de previous post...coz stupid dog asked for de master's love too...

kang lih - my toy in chs....since sec 3 in same cls as me...he nvr had a peaceful life...but i reckon he is happy...haha...is an honour to be played by me....so....he is always treating me as lao da oso...but he is at a lower lvl...known as dog...haha...we split into diff jc den rarely meet up le...meet up he oso nvr come...tryin to be funni...but somtimes still gt talk to him in msn...haha...he noe my troubles too :) ya...to me...he can be said to be my loyal dog...my LOYAL dog...dun forget ur master too :) wilson tan!

*shuang le ma...si gou?...haha!....u rox too :) so i love u too*

BANKAI!!!

today is a combined outing man....lcpsk+woodlands kia...teo olk bok vs gengliang weiqi kh...wow la...total 6 ppl come my hse...they r so so late la...den we start mugging...den aft tt go bball...is rather obvious lao tian always like to fool me....at 1st in my hse wind beri big de....den when we go dwn...it starts to get so bloodi hot....nvm i xi guan le...lao tian always hate me....

fyi....i m a type of person where in cooling weather...my stamina in bball can be higher a lot than other ppl....when other ppl tired...i still can hang on even if i tired....but when de sun is dere...my energy is drained at a dam high speed...higher than a lot a lot ppl...so i m de 1st to die....so draining la...aft de match is set den i go to a nearest bench and juz lie dere....DEAD.....afterall....i had absence from physical activity totally for 3 weeks le....so cnt blame me....

anyway...i tried pull-up le...SHUAI LA....i maintained at 6....though de 6th is rather tough to get it up....de muggin session is nt beri effective ba...i realise...recently i gettin more n more slacky once again le...die le die le...muz ENDURE...muz CONTINUE...muz PERSERVERE...

juz finish reading MAR comic....in e end ying tai went back to his own world and 1 of de scene is de ppl in de MAR world living their life...and there is a caption..."how r u getting on in de other world...ying tai" and it end wif ying tai's weapon....pao pao.....standing at de cliff lookin up at de sky....i felt de sense of separation la...i always hate this kind of ending de...IT SUX!!!!

they went home le....so here i am...alone once again....mabbe de main reason why i like dota so much...is becos in dota....we rely on teammates...we trust our teammates....we fight tgt wif our teammates...and always...i trust my dota gang in dota....though i always say tt they r noob....but deep inside...i still needa depend on dem....bok...teo...olk...kr...and in e past...cw....who has left de dota world le...the feeling tt we win de gang fight wif our teamwork and co-operation....saving each other....sacrificing our own lives juz to save our teammate ( like wat olk usually do to save me)

and whenever i m wif dem....in real life....i feel wanted...
i always say i lao da when i wif dem....is becos they always gif in to me....and i feel like i m a small little gem...so preciousss....all 5 of dem...including sixu = 6.....but i noe...i am de 1 who nid dem more than they nid me...lcpsk also gif in to me a lot always....qte 霸道 i guess....haha....but nvm...tt is me....at least i can open my true self when i m wif dem....

relationship reflection....

kr - frenz wif me since sec 1...1 of de best fren i had when i 1st come into chs.....the 1 tt always guide me in watever i do...coz although we come in chs wif an innocent n naive mind tgt...he grow up faster than me (mentally but not physically..hehe) so i always nid his guidance...and he is more clear-headed than me...i am always so rash and let my feelings override my thinkings...the 1 tt i always bully but he always forgive me and doesnt mind....
he can be said to be my right-hand man....

cw - frenz wif me since i am in sec 2 while he is sec 1.....coz he is de onli person in his batch...he is forced to stick wif us...the older generation....yet....we bond well....mabbe is becos our mindset is young....so we can bond wif him who is 1 yr younger....haha....always joke ard wif him n kr in chs...known as 3 musketeers in wushu....in our world in chs...there is onli 1 word...."FUN" aft coming into jc....we all had our own probs....studies...bgr....but he always stick wif me....whenever i m dwn...he is wif me....i noe tt kr will be wif me oso de...but becos he is de prez...so he cnt detach from wushu juz liddat....although i always scold cw....like vent anger on him...and he always forgive me...but i still treat him like brother...he can be said to be my left-hand man....

sixu - noe him when i come into ajc wushu...but right aft we met....we click well...we become de best of frenz immediately...even before cw come in....we call ourselves brods....but now becos of a gal...i had some clashes wif him....which is my fault actualli....like i said previously...i m a guy whose feelings override thinkings...but me this person...dun realli like to say sorry or thanks...coz it sounds so formal...so till now...i nvr say sorry to him before...but i hope he noe...tt i still treat him as a brother....and fyi...ppl see us as twins...coz we look alike :) 2 shuai ge afterall.
i always bully him oso....and got anger always vent on him de most....but he always smile and dun mind....he and cw is most tame de...kr is more wild...always refuse to acknowledge me as lao da...he can be said to be my 出气桶 haha....

teo - noe him since sec 1...but in sec 1...we r nt close at all..in fact...although we same cls...i dunno abt his existance....until sec 2...when we took de same mrt home...being the chatterbox in de past....i tok to him like mad...keep toking n toking...and at tt time...he is a quiet guy...he nvr say much things except listening to me tok...and i ask him alight at admiralty wif me to eat nasi lemak set meal at mac somemore...when we r still qte strangers...being kind..he agree w/o saying anythin...den i nvr buy...onli kop his things...haha....tt is how i am in de past...happy and carefree....aft tt we start to get close...and our cls ppl even say us as husband n wife...slowly...he got talk more n more...but mostly is i talk...until i come jc...i become a loner...juz like wat he was...once...i went vivo wif him....we buy things n everythin...den juz go and look at de sea....silence all e way...i asked, "i ask u out...but we nvr say anythin...dun u feel bored" he answered, "nope...i am always comfortable wif u...de feelings is good...coz when i m wif u...i dunnid to say anythin to entertain...i can be quiet as i wan" his reply is always in my mind...coz to me...those phrases mean a lot...is a compliment abt me...which actualli xiongjiejie did said de same thingy abt me as well....but xiongjiejie de is say..."even if u dun say anythin...being wif u is comfortable...de feeling is comfortable" so teo...even when we split into diff cls in sec 3 and aft tt go to diff JC....u r 1 of de fren where i still keep in close contact aft splitting....to me....u can be said to be my loner company....juz same...where i dunnid say anythin when i m wif u and u wun mind :)

bok - noe him aft i noe teo becos they r frenz...so being frenz wif teo makes me frenz wif bok...always bullying him and playing him and suanning him....aft we split...same thingy...we still get on well tgt...whenever i see him now...i still suan him n play him...is like i m back to de chs days....so although i always suan him....i treasure him as much as i treasure de rest....but i think he wun see this ever la..coz he wun see blogs de...haha...olk n teo always say we 2 looks like real brothers....like playing tgt and everythin...haha...bok...i felt so too...to me...he can be said to be my bro....

olk - de most distant de becos we neither come from same pri. same sec nor same jc...but he is linked from teo n bok..and can u imagine tt....juz being linked liddat...we can still becum good frenz...dis is how sociable i am in de past....we noe each other in sec 4 i tink...which i dun realli remember....and now...he is my dota companion and study companion...sometimes i tink he is de onli 1 who can be compared to my intelligence...i always think tt i m smart and if i study...i can do it...my talent is so much higher than other ppl....juz tt i dun use it....but for him...i feel tt he is oso beri talented...mabbe even higher than me....for de 1st time...i admit defeat....and he always like willing to obey my instructions or commands....so i feel thankful for tt...i noe i m wilful...haha...he can be said to be my dota-cum-studies companion....

diff ppl has diff purpose...none is greater than others....some r meant to be emo wif me...some r meant to be happy wif me...but no matter wat...all of u mean a lot to me....and i haf known all of u for so long le....and until now...we r still tgt....

i juz wanna say....
I LOVE U ALL....

BANKAI!!!

qte emo now...she studied wif singhua whole night last night...den go home...sleep a while...den meet wif sixu to cut hair...de cut hair is nth much la...de study overnight is de main dish....wat if she realise she still like singhua...they will be tgt again la...i tink i can juz go die la....

tml phy spa...sux man....i dunno a damn thingy abt it...

i tink my acting skills qte zai la...now she realli believe i m happy and wun mind anythin..so she oso got tell me when she go out wif singhua and sixu....good...looks like my mask-wearing skill is nt bad afterall....special prize to me!!!

even over de phone...i muz smile...becos de person can feel ur mood over de fone de....haix...as de days pass by...i slowly feel sian wif life...feel sian wif wat i m doing now....feel sian of faking my own mood...deceiving every1 including myself....

every moment is a self-high session for me...i m nt a beri enthu person but now i muz be enthu every single moment so tt i dun haf de sian feeling out-flowing....qte spas...

可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你 你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心 害怕你离去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还 爱你
i m willing to do this for u....
as long as u r happy....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

today went kr hse wif wushu peeps...nt bad la..watch de M18 show quite nice...a man is willing to do anythin to save de gal he likes...it is always liddat....

went to vivo aft tt to shop for cw bag...den buy le den eat long john jiu go home le...

von is studying wif singhua today....going to mac at 10+ den gonna study overnight...whole night wif him....haix...i m realli qte sian la....realli realli sian....

they r realli gettin closer n closer recently...dunno y sia....dis sux.....

i wonder if i cont. to hold on...will u accept me 1 day.....
i am still holding on if u din noe....
i can see tt recently u r happier....
i m glad my plan works....though it is qte tiring for me to smile even when i dun feel like it....

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

today is de 1st day of wearin mask...nt bad seh...still managing well...but i feel quite spas sometimes...puttin a smile is rather tiring man....is realli qte hard for me to treat u like a normal fren...watever ba...i juz haf to endure on.....

in nexus...von suddenli ask me abt my walk to bishan...ma de?....den i realise de gals who went like almost all noe oso...i a bit sian le...such things they noe...den nxt time i still dare to speak or talk meh...cw say my things to other brothers jiu suan le...but nid to say until de gals oso noe anot...they treat my things as wat....my own feelings everythin i alrdy beri open le...i dun mind le..but my own emo actions...can lemme keep it to myself ma....muz de whole dam world noe abt it...why muz let other ppl noe abt de weak side of me...i dun like it....DAMN IT.....

den now they tulan tt i blasting away...com'on la...wat if it is u....ppl haf their likes n dislikes....dis is sth i hate a lot la...to let gals noe abt de weak side of me...and yst is so dam dam weak n vulnerable....they muz be talking behind my back le....letting u all noe is alrdy nt bad le...still muz spread to other ppl...i m thinking if i can ever tell u all things again anot...who noes...mabbe everythin tt i do or say is spread around like wat fuck.....

watever ba...i tired le...time to sleep....

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

aft so much happenings...i m dead beat le....a tired heart....walking along de pavement...de cool night breeze....without me noticing...i reach bishan mrt station le...it is nt tiring at all...wat is tiring is de path of life....de path of life tt i haf walked n fell countless times...1 obstacle aft another....since young till now...

i hate it whenever i feel lyk u r juz lying to me...u r always liddat....avoiding as u can...u refuse to face ur own feelings...u refuse to face reality....u refuse to face the true inner self....but do u noe it makes de ppl around u feel tired...realli tired...

想起你，我有复杂的心情。对于你，我一会儿高兴，一会儿心痛。
就这样，高兴心痛，心痛高兴，我累了。

天为被，地为席，无处为家，处处为家
一个人的生活，其实也不错

BANKAI!!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

kr, teo n bok has went home...left me rotting alone le...

today de bball session was great...i had a fun time...long time nvr so relaxed le...is always wif de 4-11 ppl tt rox so much man....we juz keep laughing n laughing...den even other ppl beside watching us playin at the bball court oso gif out a smile...coz dey see us playing so happily...so carefree like kids in de playgrd...we anyhow play de sia...and jokes keep coming out...though my hand still hurt a bit...but is still worth it....my mind completely got u out of it....in de bball court...it onli contains laughter....no troubles...onli carefree souls....aft we played finish n went off to eat...out of de bball court...every emo part of me returned....i miss u le...glad tt kr can tell...but thinking abt it...he has known me for 6 yrs le...how mani 6 yrs do we haf in our human life span..nt mani ba...

aft eating...bok teo n kr went to my hse...kr n me do nitro tutorial while bok n teo mess wif my com...lolz...i always like to suan bok like nobody business....even though abt tt...i still treat him as a good fren... :) suanning doesnt mean anythin ma....haha...and in chs...suanning always bond us closer n even closer tgt...but in jc...dis cnt seem to work out....lolz...watever....mi n kr do until bui tehan...so i took over de com...and dota...wif 3 of dem watching me play...de master play while dey learn...haha...i learnt a new thingy today man...taught by de zion player...nt bad la...queue command...shuai dai le....though i still tryin to perfect it...haha...juz get exposed to it wad....

aft dota...i m drained le...dota n studies drain ppl...and 3 of dem went off le...now in de whole hse onli got me n my bro...my bro sleeping while i using de com...de golden silence...peaceful man..

the difference between de possible and impossible lies in determination!
isit true?
if i m determined....
if i nvr gif up....
if i continue to persevere....
if i tell myself i can do it...
will i succeed 1 day?
dis is de 1st time i cont. to hold on even though tt de outcome is out long ago....
dis is de 1st time i start to do my work even if dere isn't any exams coming up...

in de past...i believe success can come w/o hard work...i rarely put in any effort in anythin i do...nth interest me...
when ppl say tt hard work is 99% while talent is juz 1%....
i prefer to believe and I BELIEVE tt talent contains 99% and hard work contains 1%....
coz thrughout my life...i haf managed to pass thrugh all my major exams wif good results even when i nvr work hard...i believe tt wif talent...even last min work can do wonders....
until i come to JC...i realise....those are juz peanuts...the real challenge starts from here...
TALENT takes 10%...while hard work is 90%.....
and i haben even put in 100%...and i wun put in 100%....coz i will nvr be able to do tt...100% focus into studies....is quite and confirm impossible for me la....be glad tt i do my tutorial...

sometimes...i tend to think....
mabbe talent n hardwork all takes up less than 1%....
is juz FATE tt take up 100%.....

i ponder...
wat isit tt he can do and i cnt do....
wat isit tt he can gif and i cnt gif....
wat isit tt he has and i dun haf....
and if we were to noe each other before u knew him...
will de ending be different....

dere is once a story tt goes like dis...a simple story.....
a story abt....MONKEYS!!!! haha
一群猴子在玩耍，它们路过一口井。它们看见了井里的月亮，非常的漂亮。
于是，它们开始争吵，“我要！”，“我要！”
慢慢的，它们一个接一个地跳下井里，想要捞取井里的月亮。
它们在井里挣扎，原来井里的月亮是假的。
所有的猴子都淹死了。
moral of de story :
厉害就好，不要假厉害
有时候，存在的一切可能都是假的
就算你用你的一生，也不一定能得到
however :
humans will still try to reach for their goals...even when sometimes it seems almost impossible for dem to reach it...and till de end....mabbe all their effort is to no avail...this is FATE

i realise dis post is amazingly long...mabbe becos i realli nth to do...lolz...logics la..feelings la...facts la...even stories oso come out le....but i tink i haf nth much to write on le...so i shall end here ba...and go for dota perhaps

if u love him and he love u....
i realli suggest tt u all be tgt....
it is realli qte spas to waste a mutual feeling...
如果你幸福快乐，我绝不打扰你
但是如果你还没找到适合的，就让我再说一次
我爱你
(dis time i quote...later he noisy again...FROM CW)

BANKAI!!!

today wake up wif an intensive pain in my hand...i tink i sleep den i sleep on my injured hand...now dam pain...

yst went for dinner at tong lok restaurant..nt bad la...basically...every dish rox except for de crab....coz i dun even noe how to eat...in e end daryl(de nt shuai 1) help me pluck...so at least manage to eat a bit....thx to de 3 teachers for de 1.3k meal...shuai....

yst is de sports meet....i n cw is typically exploring de small n pathetic ajc....and camping in de toilet...and drinking de milo....can skip lessons...sports meet is nt bad afterall...juz tt i saw sth tt i m nt supposed to see...and spoil my mood a little...but aft tt everythin is fine le...

i guess i sometimes is too 霸道 le...shall try to restrain a bit ba...sorry pals...

anyway...mrs ong praised me...haha...for puttin in effort for tutorial...shuai dai le...and when i dun even noe abt de hydroxy test...until i come sch...i nvr study a bit nor did i do de hydroxy tutorial tt time....i manage to pass sia....11/20...though nt beri good...but is a pass afterall....nt bad nt bad....

going for bball session wif sec sch frenz later on.....catchya!

self-deceive....
self-console....
sometimes i m juz being tired....
i noe de situation...
sorry n thx for everythin...
all is my bad....

若不是不忍心看你两难中煎熬
不然我绝不肯这样眼睁睁
看你重回他怀抱

BANKAI!!!