Tuesday, October 30, 2007

1st day of A lvl...it has ended fatefully...yet cruelly.....

flow of feelings for phy paper:
enter the hall - feeling dam bloodi scared and i am panicking...my heart is beating dam dam fast...
waiting for de clock to strike 2pm - a bit sleepy le...close eye and breathe in hard...calm down a bit le....
"u may begin" - open the paper and de next moment...i am stunned....
as i am doing the qn - gettin more and more sian le...a lot qn dunno how to do....
"time's up" - yes...no matter wat...it is over man....
discuss wif kr a bit - haix...tulan...some ans are so easy la..i wasted man.....
discuss further wif olk and teo over msn - their ans somehow is qte diff from mine....damm sian..
at the end - no more feelings...it is over man...but now...GP is BLOODI SCREWED.....

scared ---> stunned ---> sian ---> stone (this is de 4S of the day...)

BANKAI!!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

tml is de start of As....and is gonna be a longggg journey...ok actualli is qte short la....i suddenli realise....onli this week will be qte hectic....aft tt is hai hao....my biggest worry is econs...everythin oso dunno...like a bloodi gg....tml phy le...gl hf peeps....study is study le...read notes oso read notes le...but can do the questions anot is another issue...haix....read notes le see qn oso still tio stun....i hope my tyco-ness for O lvl come out again man...woohooo....

welll...at this point of time...scared oso useless ba?....juz go in and brave the storm den.....well i can say tt i am qte unprepared....a lot of qn still dunno how to do...but left 1 day...so i cnt do much too...today pia wif teo and kr at woodlands library....de last pia...kr reading notes...i doing papers...and guess wat teo is doing??....HE IS DOING MATH AND CHEM....wtf la...he nth to do for phy liaoz???....olk is another 1...actualli dunnid ask him out to mug 1....coz he alrdy nth to study le....yst went his hse study...mi and teo studying...he go and play PS2....zzzz de....consistent hard work jiu shi so shuang....haix...we can onli hug de buddha leg.....nt bad la...betta than nvr hug right???

i am alrdy fascinating abt the life aft As le...dota maple dota maple...woohoo la....and dota i wan train to draft soon...all is left is to up kr std nia...maple....lets try to get to 5x man....

o ya...and i am gonna work aft de chalets...i wanna save up and hope wif the NS salary...aft NS...i can haf my own com...i buy de hua cfm wan buy zai de...nice keyboards...nice mouse...nice speaker wif stylo base....nice LCD screen and most impt...super zai processor and RAM....I SHALL WORK TOWARDS TT GOAL MAN!!!!

sooo...every1....jiayou and thrash this piece of A lvl shit man...


愿 Allah 保佑我们~~~

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

long time bo blog...so come here blog a bit lo...

As is coming....but i realli dun qte haf de mood to study still....ok i declare it a gg...actualli no matter wat my result is...i oso haf no plans for my future....sooo...now my result...is juz to get me into a uni den i can decide my future....

haix...who ask me to be a person wif no ambition lei....dun even noe wat i wan to be in future...and wat i am studying for....

at the end...every1 will be mugging their own wayyy thrugh...aw man....de past freedom is gone....

wa piang oi...actualli hor...i oso dunno wat i wanna blog abt la....aiya sui bian la..i go sleep liaoz....NIGHTO!

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

today de work is gay de....4am start...2pm end...ta ma de....10 hrs straight...standing dere packing packs of nasi lemak.....u try la...leg break back break....

dis is de job's detail and flow of thought....

4am arrived and gotta start work....i am in charge of putting ikan bilis and peanuts into the packet...de table height is at my waist...so i haf to slight bend dwn to put....

4am-"wah...lets get started man..."
5am-"raining sia...dam feel lyk sleeping...yst onli sleep for 1 and a half hour...."
6am- "ma de back dam pain la.....feel lyk dying la...."
7am- "isit near 11am....we end work at tt time....i tink we work dam long le la..."
8am- "ma de peanuts...i hate u...."
9am- "gg...i am at my limits...realli feel lyk crying...back ache like siao..."
10am- "where is my spine ar...i cnt feel it...."
11am- "why we haben end yet...ta ma de...."
12pm- "shyt la...late for xiongjiejie meeting le...."
1pm- "fuck u..peanuts...."
2pm- "FINALLY!!!! NI NEH DE!!!!"

i send xiongjiejie to kr hse 1st coz i late....den off i went to kr hse....den bath den xiongjiejie help me massage...is too pain liaoz....den 4pm...went bk mug...but nt for long...20 mcq...i took 1hr...coz in between...i keep fall asleep....xiongjiejie tot i thinkin in deep thoughts...den ltr she wake me up..she jiu say wah lao....i tot u in deeep thoughts..thinkin abt qn...U FELL ASLEEP!?

i gif up in e end...i realli closing eyes le....reached home at 7pm....on com and maple...maple and whack de chickens until i doze off...my hero nearli die la...tmd....is realli reaching my limit le....tehan until lvl up den jiu quit le...den saw cw..so went in wif him again...pq wif kj cw and teo...we rox man...continuously enter pq for 3 times...at chnnl 1 somemore...so crowded...we juz keep chionging in and out like nobody business...when u get to enter the pq...de feeling is shuang de la...sense of achievement...

aft tt jiu dota....dota awake me a little...nt sleepy le...all games wif pub win...WE ROX....

now gonna sleep soon le man....tml got GP timed prac...nt beri shuang la...ma de...hectic lei...DAM HECTIC....still got a lot things lining up...which i haben arrange and plan properly....

can some1 help me massage....alikatou....

BANKAI!!!

neck dam aching...coz yst went sentosa work...carry so mani tables here and dere....DAM DAM ACHE....tml gg work again...muz wake up at 3am...now alrdy 1.30am...shuld i sleep...or shuld i not?? aft work tml gg mug wif xiongjiejie...

wa...sounds hectic right...but is bo bian..dis is life...

i yearn for a good and deep and comfortable sleep....or gaming session...without the nid to tink abt A lvl or anythin else...

MAPLE AND DOTA IS SOOO FUN WHEN U R PLAYIN WIF UR FRENZZZ!!!!!

wooots....my gaming team rox!.....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

went to work at sentosa today...felt dam tired and drained...today total ZERO mugging.....

as de saying goes...life is full of ups and downs....
whey heaven...i downs until sian le...gimme some ups sometimes lei?....
heaven is always liddat...biased against me 1....
so de onli way is to fite against heaven lor....

aft working...too tired le...i am gonna sleep my way thrugh man...

EmoBuddha says....
if onli one can sleep forever and dunnid to wake up....

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

went kbox wif cw yk mao teng kr today...obviously...we r not putting MoE in our eyes....treat A lvl like nth...

glad everythin is solved at e end...de onli brother in my gang to succeed...of coz dunwan him to screw up man...and if is becos of a small thingy den is definitely nt worth it....

always rmb:
everythin will be ok in e end....if it is nt ok...den it is nt the end.....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

shuwen called me yst! to ask me jiayou....is gan dong de~~~
hai shi shuwen treat me good.... :)

and she said sth aft seeing my blog post...
wen: "你长大了"
wil: "那你是说，我以前很childish la?"
wen: "是，不过现在没有那么childish le"

like a dotx?...a childish person calling me childish...ppl say u childish u will feel sian ba? but dunno why...i felt warmth instead....from a person who is realli concerned about me...

i wanna say....thx...shuwen...
I OSO LOVE U DE!
*lucky tinkun got no chance to see my blog...if nt i will haf a baluku liaoz*


well...every1 has to grow up....
wif every single obstacle tt we haf to get thrugh...we grow up bit by bit...day by day...
and when we grow up...we will realise....
how fortunate isit to be childish....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

today is de last day of sch...how ironical...in e past i dam wish for my JC life to end...coz it is bloodi torturing me...but now...my heart got the feeling of sadness and cnt-bear-to-part....mabbe no matter how bad an environment is...dere is sure to be sth tt is good...and mabbe....i dunwan to go thrugh separation....from pri sch...to sec 2 class...to sec 4 graduation...i realli hate it....especially when i graduate from chs...the 4-11 peeps i haf...realli will cry out and hug each other....coz we gonna miss one another....de support we had....de laughters we share...de scoldings we kena...but we take it all tgt...as a gang...as a class....cnt bear to leave my cls...cnt bear to leave my juniors....throwing cw dere while mi and kr set off on our next part of journey in life...now tt cw has joined us once again...we r throwing him aside again...and now...we r going into another phase of life again....

0306 finalli looks like a cls for de last 2 days...every1 of us playing bball tgt...although i nvr tok much during the game...i am enjoying it...becos is the whole cls into 1 activity...aft farewell today...every1 of us takin fotos...i mabbe will miss it...0306....miss seeing all the sweet and cute gals in de cls...miss seeing the brudders (kf, wan, mui, yan) joking ard and mui's laughter and craps....miss playin ard wif the CN forces (farid, haikel, ys, kh, prasad)....miss crapping like dunno wat wif the 7 wonders ( kh, ys, nette, junhui, maggie, asha)...miss seeing the twins walking ard like superglue on their body (helen, cheryl)...miss getting whacked and suann-ed by teng...miss kf's sporty spirit...miss opposing chuan like i am some rebel in the class....

all the sleeping in class...nvr hand in work...pissing teacher off....it has ended fatefully....wif a overslept on the last day of my sch life....took taxi and rush dwn becos i haf prize presentation...OMG....

aft graduation....off i go to march in de jungle...take rifle and pia....it is another phase in life...i wonder if i can take it...wif my fitness lvl dropping like mad...i cnt take hardship...but i wun admit defeat...easily...

aft graduation....i will miss the wushu peeps...though i nvr join dem qte often due to some obstacles in my heart tt i haf to overcome 1st...but the memories haf nvr fade away before...every single 1...going to zhexu hse for fireworks and stayovers...going for the wushu chalet...going for the inter-sch comp. and every1 supporting each other...going to kr hse to eat...going to bj hse for stayover...

18 more days to As...i can onli say tt i m realli nt rdy for it...de stress is builing up....nth seems right...and everythin seems wrong...wat happens to one's life if one's mental and physical condition screw up....isit stress tt is causing me my illness...or i kena gastric cancer...since 3 weeks ago i haf been having feeling to vomit out of the blue and for no reason...and it has been worsening...now is almost everyday ard meal time....but apart from tt...I FEEL OK.....isn't dis bloodi wierd??...suddenli will wan vomit...den suddenli will ok...i dun even dare to eat for i scared i vomit out wat i eat...i haf a feeling tt i am feeling qte stressed up sub-consciously....

aft graduation...perhaps i wun haf the chance to see u or tok to u le...the memories of everythin tt happen btw u and me...is deep in my mind....if i were to write out everythin we haf gone thrugh tgt...it wuld take me 3 days...but to u...perhaps all these memories are nth...i onli noe...u haf changed...i cnt describe it...but i feel tt u haf changed...i haben sit dwn and chat properly wif u for abt 3 mths le...i dun wish to disrupt ur life...so i prefer things to end here...i dunno wat is happening in ur life anymore...are things turning for the better...or for the worse...no matter wat...i wish u all de best in everythin u do in future...and i noe...even if i am nt by ur side...dere is no nid to fear....coz there will be mani other more ppl out dere by ur side like singhua sixu or any other ppl who i dunno abt...

i wish u...eternal hapiness

ppl come and go in my life...
but who are the ones who realli leave footsteps behind....
and who are the ones who are still walking on this tirdeous journey wif me aft so mani yrs...
but all these doesnt matter...
wat matters is...we will cont to walk to e end tgt....supporting each other....

my special thanks for those who realli made me feel loved, accepting me for whoever i am:
3 musketeers... (surbodinates)
woodlands kia... (surbodinates)
lcpsk...
7 wonders...
wushu peeps esp. daryl, teng, yumin
xiongjiejie...
shuwen.... (i still prefer to be the onli 1 in this world to spell ur name wrongly)

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

i feel like i am fighting this battle alone....

wulala...
loner's life

BANKAI!!!

Monday, October 08, 2007

today bond wif wushu aft the farewell rehearsal...well....i realise tt excos will get at least a merit....regardless of their achievement....and i realise..i am the onli non-exco who got merit!!! dam stylo la...and dunno why i am the 1 representing the merit awards wif tracy....out of nowhere sia...too zai le...lolz...

long time nvr sit dwn and haf some good talk le...today actualli is qte shuang...participating members are mi kr teng darren wanching and cara...but mostly is mi and kr toking....every1 seems to be having a good laugh....if i can haf the mood to sit dwn and tok wif ppl....actualli i haf de confidence tt i can make their mood happier and entertain dem de....but aft so mani things happening...i cnt haf this mood beri often de...and is out of access to certain ppl.....seeing that at least u can make other ppl ard u smile and laugh....de feeling is u ownself will feel happy too...dunno la...but at least dis is how i feel at tt moment....

today tio said by nette...actualli i qte unhappy de..play play nia dunnid so serious and get angry lo...

dis world dun haf much ppl understand me de...who can noe wat my mind is thinking....can one see if i am real happy or unhappy juz based on my face? a person who is forever smiling doesnt mean he will feel happy like forever....mabbe deep inside his heart lies a wound too....a wound tt he close up to the public...one smile may be dere to cover up for a thousand pain....

mabbe the way i do things...too extreme le ba...if dis will make ppl feel uncomfortable or unhappy....den i say sry ba...i shall restrict my words and actions....

from now on...u all oso dun say nette is nv shen or anythin le...juz in case she unhappy or angry....yup...

wa i feel tt i nid to start from econs real real soon....if nt realli gg le...i seriously dunno how to study on econs when i m so bloodi noob man....

today was like talkin abt sixu wif teng...hmmm....i sort of feel tt wat i do is unfair to sixu oso...but mabbe is becos i selfish ma...i rather i dun tok to him to remind myself of some sad things...and sometimes i am realli qte angry with the fact tt he is so close to von...mabbe it isn't anger at all..it is jealousy....but we are made of flesh and blood...wat is wrong when one feels negative emotions within himself...we r man...nt god...well...although i noe mani ppl hope mi and sixu can be frenz again...but before i can completely get over von....dis is qte hard...even if i tok to him as u all wish....i m juz tokin to him for the sake of toking...i will feel uneasy and uncomfortable...

dun test the untestable....
and i cnt forget the unforgettable...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

ok...shall do some serious blogging man....if nt this blog wan collect dust le...

life has been god dam boring recently....apart from mugging...it is still mugging...dota-ing oso feeling dam guilty...but well...i nid it man...cw is back into the team...woohooo....can do some serious training tgt again....kr ar...buck up lei...a bit zzz....

i ownself oso dunno wat i wan in life....everythin is like in fog of war....i felt qte lost...i m thinking...how mani true and close frenz i haf...i tink i can count wif 10 fingers...studies lei...how mani Us i haf achieved in this 2 yrs...i tink u nid at least the help of 3 hands to count tt...fan fic...write until like qte a flop liddat....bgr...more dunnid to say...ya shhhh....

perhaps is my char too guai lan le ba...or isit my luck in life....everythin tt i haf done in my life seems to be wrong...every decision i made...every action i executed....seems to be hurting every1 ard me...and even myself...weekends feel good if there is no A lvl...i will just stay at home and induldge in my dota...transverse into the world of dota and escape from reality....

i check my fone bill....sms used is 670+....looks like is dropping and dropping....it means i losing contact wif the outside world....i ownself oso nvr go and sms any1 to tok or anythin....is juz de usual few lo...kr cw teo olk...but tt happens rarely too...especially when cw now has his own commitment...i can be qte sure his sms is on the verge on bursting...

i now onli got a bit confidence in chem....math beri little...phy almost nil...and econs is going towards negative....go msn...oso no1 to tok to....stylo lo....

aiya...i tink diam diam 1 corner best la.....lead my own life lo...

人在做， 天在看

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

life is so boring~~~

i juz feel lyk rotting my life away...can i?

like a pudge's life....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, October 01, 2007

today went mugging wif teo and olk at J8 macs...generally qte productive...did 8 qn of math paper.....den i sian liaoz....dun feel lyk doing le...so rott.....read a bit of chem notes too....den jiu go home le...

go home vomit la...zzz....sian?....last week oso monday vomit...today oso vomit....weekly routine isit....like a ma de...haix...today oso keep sneezing...body gettin weaker and weaker as days go by liaoz...now headache too....if i say i dun feel the stress due to A lvl...tt is lying ba?....certainly will haf a bit de...wat i m most worried abt is econs....dunno how to pick up lor...

nxt fri cw bok promos over...they joinin back dota..BOK LEI....lol...he wan challenge us...ok la...mi teo cw kr olk vs him and pub la...ho seh liaoz....i gonna use meepo....i wan try sth of a high lvl...zzz...if flop can go bang wall le....based on my thinking...is realli DAM HARD la....qte impossible to succeed i tink...depend on rest of the teammate liaoz...i may flop....at a HIGH chance....

now weekdays bo dota liaoz...today 1st day...did it le...dunno i can tehan bo....zzz....but fri is considered weekends....lolz....cnt wait for fri man!!!!

my new shoe is realli qte shuai de...i like the colour combi...black red white....

yawns....gonna go do a bit work den 11 liddat jiu go sleep le.....zzzzz

a mugger's life is like a no-life.....
i wan gamer's life la!!!!

BANKAI!!!