Saturday, March 31, 2007

muz realli start training hard le...no more slacking...my voice a bit gg soon...haha..jiao lian say mi n kr shout the best...wuahah....i suddenly feel tt i m nt tt useless afterall....wushu comp. in 1 week's time...those who feel stressed...fret not....coz i m equally screwed...at the end of the day...as long as u put in ur best...the result doesnt matter....coz u haf alrdy put in ur best and everythin else...tink in another light...in a competition...there is either win or loss....nt every1 can win....so is either u win or u lose...simple as tt....dunnid get over-competitive and get so stressed up until like u nvr win u will die liddat...so every1 jiayou ba...the mental strength muz be there for those who cnt accept failure....i dun haf mental strength...but i can accept failure...haha....fail until used to it le...haha...loser's life right?.....guess so.....

startin a bit in my hwk le...guess this is the best way to make me be oblivious to wat is happening around me....
to close ur eyes if u dunwan see things tt make u unhappy....
to stop thinking if u dunwan think abt things tt make u unhappy....
to stuff ur ear wif earpeice n blast music thrugh it if u dunwan hear things tt make u unhappy...
to walk away by urself if u dunwan to be in an environment tt make u unhappy...
to strive for the better if u dunwan to be in the last position n hit the rock bottom...
to not be disheartened if u fail despite all ur efforts put in coz life is nvr fair....
to be able to accept things tt doesnt go ur way coz the world doesnt revolve around u....
to cherish everythin u haf now coz 1 day everythin tt u haf now might no longer be dere....

JIAYOU ALL FOR WUSHU COMP.
wilson...kr...cw...2daryls...yvonne....xiongjiejie...jack...joee...xianping...yunquan....teng...
yumin...yintong...wanqing....darren....yiming....zhijian....sixu...waisoon...trace...shermin....
xiangren...junwen...and all chs juniors....
*if i miss out any1...i sorry...my memory is cocked up*

i shall try to be oblivious....SEE NO EVIL!!!!
你给我的伤太重 是我无法承受的痛
越来越感到脆弱 我看著你转身就走
其实我的要求不多 只是我没有说出口
心里想著你别走 再来就什麼都没有

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

juz realised the previous post is my 200th post in my rottenapple blog le...grats...haha....

today go wif aj wushu to queensway to order the aj wushu jacket....white jacket...
this detail is enuff i guess...cnt go on to describe all the things tt happen today...

thx to kr for taking bus all e way to woodlands wif me....
thx to cw for accompanying me and hearing me out in queensway....
thx to jack for telling me all those values n stories in life...
thx to bangjie for doin watever he do....
thx to shuwen for coming dwn to queensway...

feeder once again....dota...3 rounds all feeder....i haf no more use in life perhaps...
TAKE ME TO THE RUBBISH BIN MISTER!

some words cnt be expressed...some feelings cnt be determined....
i oso dunno how i feel...
is no longer abt sian or pissed le....
is i dun even noe wat u r thinking....
i dunno whether i shuld talk to u or wat....and if u realli willing to talk to me or wat...
but everythin it seems...it is in fog....

BANKAI!!!

yay...finally fixed my com...thx to junyong...haha....

actualli now my life is qte messed up...coz i dunno wat i doing sometimes....this feeling of uncertainty seriously sux...u noe the feeling when u think back and u tryin to figure out wat is the point of doing all those things...but at tt point...feelings doesnt allow me to think...and often...my feelings override my thinkings...and my words and everythin seems harsh or even wierd.....i say sorry here...to whoever it is tt i haf offended....if u all wanna blame me...oso anythin.....

how shuld i put it across?....hmmm....is hard to say everythin in words...but my feelings in my heart is dam hard to be expressed...this 1 qn is realli worth pondering over and i m always thinking....so in wat position am i to question abt ur actions wif him and everythin...i seriously feel spas each time i make a fuss over such things aft tt when i haf cooled dwn....but somehow...i forever seem to be controlled by my feelings and all those words juz pop out...

this world sux...i sux....haix....

my world is revolved all around u....
u affect my mood....
u affect my motivation....
u affect my thinkings....
u affect my feelings...
I WANNA GET ALL THESE OUT OF MY MIND!!!!! but it seems hard....real hard.....
tearing in desparation n fustration simply sux...coz i realli dunno wat is right n wat is wrong...

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

now in free access room in cw...ma de lor...yst i talk to zhexu den a link appear...den i click and OPPS....GG....virus come my com play le....ma de la...cnt sign in msn la...i qte sian le....today i ask junyong den he say he oso click but his dad fix le...juz delete some files which invade into the com...i tonight gonna call him n try man...i cnt live without my com...but u > com...so dun worry...haha...i haf once again prove tt good ppl wun haf rewards de...yst is wanna go console zhexu abt the grp weaponary event tt he nvr get in and all these happen....SAI...i m hating heaven more n more coz it is slacking in its job....

hair is gettin more n more cock up le...even kr can see tt it is realli long le...and today i cnt seem to style my hair in the usual way....haix...is realli too long le la...ma de....i will try to cut it asap....to revive my shuai-ness.....wuahaha....

yst finally solve everythin....BANKAI for once to solve everythin...nt realli wanna use such xtreme words on my own brother la...but when u haf to do it....u haf to.....now liddat finally ok le wad....he noe when to do wat le...den wun spas anyhow again le...this is good...wun affect my mood too much oso...i hate the feeling when i m feeling realli low n dwn....it sux....

my back dere got 1 blue-black lor...and my hands n legs muscle ache today...sia la....whole body nth in the right way....today gonna haf self train again...wulala...

hope today go home can fix my com...JIAYOU BA!!!!

watching u at 1 side today....
seeing u laughing so happily wif ur frenz....
unknowingly....a smile appear on my face as well....
i m contended....u happy i happy....

BANKAI!!!

Monday, March 26, 2007

today is a bad day for cw....and equally fucked up for me....1st blood by the rain....no umbrella and yet heaven crying so pitifully.....the tears drop like no tml and i m gonna kena drenched by the rain....geng liang shelter me to sch and wat i m tulan wif is tt the socks get wet...IS ALWAYS LIDDAT....the feeling is dam bui song...but thx geng liang....

coming up next is a sms telling me tt a bastard is gonna be in the way again....i m qte pissed off le.....den sms cw abt it...den he act spas oso...and out of anger...i scolded vulgarity at him...so sorry man....but eventually....it is still nt bad...i felt happy in fact....coz u r wif me.....my bad mood is gone aft tt....happy-ing all e way until i realise i was bloody wrong.....i m juz being too naive or stupid in the brain or watever....

went for napfa den saw such an unpleasant scene.....i went to change den....and saw his hp n wallet in changing room....i asked dem where he went and they say he ask dem take care while he went toilet...AT TT MOMENT....FUCKED UP MOOD COME UP........the urinal is in the changing room and he went other toilet???....but i even saw him upstairs talking so happily???....WTF r all these lies for???.....they even told me u all r talking in a corner before they arrive...haix...watever ba....

i m excused for napfa becos i m in a sneezing spree and my nose is starting to rebel against me....i m having more n more enemies ar...NT BAD....my brother and even my nose turn against me....i shall not care.....i went home becos i dunwan to cause a bloodshed.....faster zao home before my murderous mood sets in coz my limit reaching soon today.....

long time nvr had the intent to kill le.....the last time was when wesley whacked his wet socks against my back in sec 2.....it is dam obvious tt there is sth wrong in ur actions.......i m wondering if onli 1 is wierd or both...if is both...ok...gg for me...

i noe all the others r standing by me and i realli thank for tt.......credits to cw...kr...daryl (nt shuai de)....xiong jie jie....shuwen....

i realise me n cw realli dam alike le...when we r sian or L mode..we juz walk off by ourselves....ignoring others...and our circumstances is rather alike always....since chs...we haf been saying we r 70% alike and 30% different....and now....i tink it has become 90% alike le....the onli diff is i m more violent la...haha....BUT BOTH R EQUALLY SHUAI!

im veri veri worried...and i mean it...REALLI REALLI VERI worried...i jus hope its jus nt wad im tikin...if nt i may jus lose a fren...or even 2...im prayin wif all my heart tt my feelin is wrong...it has to b...please...(taken from cw blog...since we haf the same bloodi cock up feeling)
请你不要再骗我了，我 tulan le.....

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

yst was another floppy day....nvr blog becos i was too tired...yst wushu training...and J1 wushu orientation...i was L mode wif cw...lolz....heard from xiongjiejie tt her fren think tt i look 'dao'....nt bad la...betta than no impression...mi n cw nvr joined in the orientation games....haix the day sux....later started training....train n train little bit....jiu dismiss le...nt bad la...nxt day gonna haf mock competition wad....aft the whole talk by jiao lian...is alrdy like 9pm le...den as usual....wushu is always so bloody dilly dally....den in e end mi n cw decided to go by ourselves...cont. L mode since the afternoon...we called shuwen out and the trios go by ourselves...even xiong jie jie, yiming, ying tong and every1 zao home becos they think is too late la...left 3 of us + joee....when shuwen come out...she say wait for dem la...they say 5-10 mins ending...i say dunnid...5-10 mins is CONFIRM NOT 5-10 mins......indeed...the bus oso dilly dally...it took like 25 mins den reach...and within this 25 mins....they still haben come out....see?...i am rarely wrong in my judgement....wif a tulan mode by the bus and them....we went to eat wif jiao lian and aft a while when they come...we zao....eat finish le ma...who ask dem so bloodi slow n retard...

to say man...i juz found out i still haf some usefulness....while we r waitin for the bus at the bus stop....shuwen lie on my shoulder den she suddenly say u always got a smell de....den i say is smelly or fragrant...den she say fragrant...lolz la...she say i wun stink even aft sweating for wushu.....wow la...i m loving myself le...2nd gal to say tt i m fragrant le....1st 1 is von la...haha...she even asked me wat soap i use...which i oso dunno anyway...this is natural talent lor.....bo bian.....haix not totally useless afterall.....still got 1 good point abt me jiu hao le...being a human shuldnt ask for too much.....

the journey home is so quiet and peaceful...1 man show rox.....

next is today.....the mock competition...wulala la....i m dam sian ok?....earli in the morning wake up go chs wushu...like a spas....ok lor...juz went lor...since i m indeed spas anyway....so go le...den met kr in the train....den aft meetin up wif the rest...we went chs....den prepare....ok la...every1 got do la...i quite screwed up today...everythin cock up...i din care anyway....juz flop ba....so in e end everythin finally ended...we went to J8 and for this...i muz seriously seriously credit jiao lian...A TREAT TO SWENSENS....SHUANG AR.....good...jiao lian...u r making me change my impression of u being stingy....jia you ba...more pls.....although food nt bad...scene nt beri good...later L mode wif cw again.....we went to rooftop to chat...onli 2 of us hide in a cage...and chatted dere....quite enjoyable i think....nt bad....cheers to loners....and zhexu for taking foto of us...quite an artistic foto....






aft tt we called shuwen and wif the boss (myself) command...she flew dwn and joined us...mi n cw n her den went to walk walk...ps the others.....din care anyway....loners ma...i realise...The Trio again....good la...can call ourselves tt le.....lolz...we bought mix n match...quite nice sia...long time nvr buy...take sweets de feeling is good....aft the bonding session...we zao le...now gonna go off for game wif my frenz le....cya man....

i dun care anymore le....wateva ba....

BANKAI!!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

now in free access....so bloody long nvr blog le...since sunday la....zzz...usually i always blog n blog almost everyday de...now is the busy period le....my hwk start to lag behind...my wushu comp. is advancing nearer n nearer....i wonder how m i supposed to catch up asap...everytime go tutorial have nth but STRESS.....sux man....i haf to dodge the teacher's attention becos i nvr do any of his/her tutorial....ma de la...i qte sian now le....

my leg now feeling dam pain...yst PE too hiong...haix...den today wushu i wonder how i gonna tehan man..tml got mock comp. which i seriously hate it la...dun realli feel like going sia...but bo bian...

changed hp le...FINALLY LA....and my freaking old n useless mp3 can be abandoned le...YES....nt i cold-blooded la....but the mp3 treat me so dam badly lor....is like so wounded and torn le....so forgive me ba....now hp is a slim-ed dwn version of my previous fone....6300 sia....it met all my expectations of a handfone....so i bought it lor....got LED light somemore...quite cool la....a cool hp being carried by a cool person...NICE NICE

yst went lavender wif wushu ppl...quite no mood yst oso...was talking to xiong jie jie all e way la...she is my meimei afterall...haha...today shuwen oso coming back le...YAY....i sort of miss her la....1 less person to accompany me when i L mode lor...AJ i alrdy so dam little frenz le....den shuwen go i of coz will sad la...but nvm ba....life is inevitable of separation...but glad tt she has found new frenz dere....juz dun forget us can le ba...

today wushu orientation i m thinking if i shuld bond wif the J1s....sometimes dun feel like....so shall see my mood later...if is L mode...den i dun care le...leave the bondings to other ppl....i juz rot myself...but aft orientation STILL got training la...sian le....

sometimes i still cnt bring myself to tell u all tt i feel in my heart
although almost all have been clear....somethings still cnt be avoided de....
not like i can control it or wat...but telling u may let u feel guilty or irritated which i dunno...
so nvm ba...

i will tell u my name....for i m sure u will wanna noe the name of the person tt defeat u....
my name is WILSON TAN.....remember tt....
i shall defeat u....my feelings...i shall override u....

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

gonna sleep soon....11am...lol....i haben done my skill A and i dunno wat i shuld do...die le...FUCK CARE la...i gettin pissed off by hwks le...i m more pissed off by myself rather...why m i such a failure....why cnt i focus on studies...why cnt i sit dwn n revise my notes....why cnt i do my tutorial le den play...why i cnt resist playing dota.....WHY WHY WHY....watever...this world has too many qns to be answered....so dun bother answering me...i noe of 1 answer actually...coz I SUX...

gonna buy new hp soon...i tink i buying nokia 3250 xpress music...use as mp3 + hp....so mp3 can throw away le...FINALLY LA...tt shit mp3...like sai....keep cocking up....nvm....can change hp is 1 good thingy la...but the sms inside all will be gone...haix...i qte sian now...cnt bear to part wif all the sms i haf saved....

if u r scared of defeat...den get stronger....
if u r scared tt u cnt protect ur frenz and ur loved 1s....den get stronger...
if u r scared of the enemy within u....den get stronger until u can crush him....

BANKAI!!!

sunday le...tml starting sch...today woke up at 1pm...yst is crazzyyyyy la....doing GP gap wif von n talkin wif her on fone from 12.30am until 5am...ma de lor???.....my ear put the fone put until pain pain....aft she went to sleep...i still cont. watch bleach which i buffer at 2am liaoz...so finish watching tt episode...eyes are like closing during the show...in the meanwhile of mi n von convo...got some spas strangers add her den we play tt stranger...so bloody retard n perverted la...sian de...shall nt elaborate....

yst went out wif lcpsk....ate new york pizza...QUITE NICE LA....den aft ttwe went to kh hse rot awhile den go lido to watch movie...wanna watch 300 but M18 we failed to smuggle ourselves in...so watched blood and choc. nt bad la...quite a nice show...but i qte sian...even wolves can be loved....ma de sia?......wat is this....nvm....saw jamie at kfc working...orh...haix...lolz...dunno wat to say...nvr go n greet her oso...i went home earli..sorry pals....coz my sneezing spree is going GODLIKE soon....so i muz zao home...

how m i gonna catch up on my work...guess i prepare to be slave ba...OH MY FISH!

the comfort is dere....the laughter is dere....the feeling is dere...coz u r dere

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

yst's talk online was good.....long time nvr had such a nice feeling le....talkin to u is always so comfortable....u make me overcome a lot of things tt i dun dare do....i m always a timid person when it involves gals....i seriously sux la....but u make me daring...thx for everythin....tt till now i still can talk to u like best frenz....yet clear wif each n every feelings involved....

today whole day doing my blog template...added quite a lot of thingies...got song got lyrics and got fotos le...wuahaha.....so boring today...played 2 dota games wif zhexu and cw...both games tio own like siao...i qte sian sia....

now at kh hse....i using com as usual....ys qi liang n kh playing bridge...talking to kr online now....was saying abt how i always express all my emotions out....saying tt at least cw noes how to control a bit bit....i tink tt is my char ba...dunno how to hide my emotions easily....so i ask kr....
"u prefer a person who show all his emotions out or a person who hide everythin and appear as a always-smiling person n u dunno wat he thinking"....sometimes....i m wondering....if 1 day....there is no more mask of the human heart....perhaps this world wuld be a clearer, a happier and a simpler world....

how i wish yst wun end forever n ever....i juz wanna see u every moment....even if silence is dere....ur presence is enuff to make me feel happy.....not a word is required...but juz YOU...

BANKAI!!!

i needa pia le...my studies...cannot lose the deal...haha....2nd common test i gonna get nice nice result...juz finish dotaing...now hand feeling numb la....muz be due to the blood tt is drawn out today...today went for NS check up...is totally retard...i hate these type of checkups....my result is totally positive...PES A...ideal fitness...wuahaha...my eyes oso still dunnid wear specs lor....so zai sia...

aft tt went for wushu...is like late for 1hr+ la.....might as well dun go....dunno y today feel quite low though nth much happens....perhaps the checkup weakens me by drawing my blood n killing my cells wif Xray....

aft wushu as usual...we went for dinner...but this time i m not wif the usual gang...but i m sitting wif the J1s...haha...anythin ba...juz dun realli feel like talking today...another L mode day....haix boring...

go home dota straight....while waiting for some stupid VIP to come online....which is realli quite VIP la...like 1 yr appear twice online nia?....wat a life....

ok another boring post....boring ppl leading boring life writes a boring post...and onli will attract boring readers...and given boring comments.....
a boring mi in a boring world.....
the dist. is changing.....btw u and him....

BANKAI!!!

Friday, March 16, 2007

now is like 1.30am le...and i m as usual....rotting online....alone....listening to songs...thinking of things to blog....and seeing who is online....yup...wat a sad life.....i realli miss u right now sia....

juz nw talking to xiong jie jie....although shuwen is gone...i still got another sis....xiong jie jie....lolz...thx for accompanying me whenever i feel sian....glad u understand my feelings....juz nw she commented something...haha...i tink is praising me ba....
"somehow although u nvr talk much sometimes....it is a silent company"...aft asking for the meaning due to my sucky english...she say even if i nvr talk at times....dere is still the feeling tt i m dere....juz being beside silently....den she say it is good feeling....long time nvr tio praise le....but actually this is the same as wat teo say abt me in e past....when i go out wif him...i nvr talk much....den 1 day i ask...going out wif me doesnt bore u meh...when i nvr talk to u at all...juz 2 person walking around in silence...he said, "nope...it is becos u nvr talk...tt is y it makes me feel comfortable...coz i noe i dunnid to squeeze sth out to entertain u...and tt realli is good feeling"

recently beri tired.....hiding is realli tiring man....maybe wat xiong jie jie is right....i shuldnt be doing this alone and suffer silently....but u shuld noe this is imposssible...

the train trip back home is realli silent for me...in other ppl eyes...i m sleepy and closing my eyes to rest...but those who noe it....they will noe i m realli tired deep inside and dun feel like saying anythin...coz it is of no use....

talking to teo now....and he is maybe much a loner than i do....i agree to a certain extent...when i noe him...he is alrdy sort of a loner le....and i used to be a chatterbox in chs...a chatterbox being good frenz wif a loner....a great combi sometimes...coz the loner juz haf to listen the chatterbox go on n on and he nid not say a word...in e end...the loner onli nid to lend the chatterbox his shoulder aft the chatterbox say all his troubles out....not a word may be said...but they understand...tt they haf each other standing by demselves.....

sometimes words r being useless....coz wat u say may not reflect wat ur heart truely thinks...when a pair of frenz can realli understand each other's feelings without saying a word...tt is when a strong frenship is formed...
there r 2 types of ppl, while 1 likes to tell his unhapiness to a few of his close frenz nia...the other likes to spread his unhapiness and hope for ppl understanding....but for me...i tink i fall in the grey area....where i like to tell quite a lot of my frenz abt my feelings and unhapiness but some unhapiness tt realli cnt be said is not said...and realli being exposed to close frenz onli...

teo is right afterall, a loner doesnt even nid a single fren...he doesnt nid any1 to understand him for he can live alone....so wat qualifications do we haf to be a loner?

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

now in zhexu hse...haix...1 day without using com sux for me...i m starting to miss my gf (my bloody com) finally can use now a bit bit....i m qte sian yst...ma de dunno doing wat...like a spas....i failed to do hwk again....SkillA still hang up dere when other ppl all hand up....studies is pissin me off more n more....

haix....life seriously sux la...i m qte pissed le....god is bloody blind or dumb....yst nite sleep over at zhexu hse....halfway thrugh midnight wake up...every1 was sleeping....den i was like spas walkin around his hse exploring....cw...why r u nt wif me yst....we can cry tgt ma.....yst when i am emo and yet u r nt around wif me...but u r equally emo yst....juz tt u emo in ur hse...i emo in zhexu hse....L mode rox afterall...juz sleeping without the need to care abt other things is good.....i can understand how u feel lor....coz i sometimes oso will feel like tearin....den think sometimes tt i m too weak or wat....haix....

yst ate 2 ice cream....almost 3/4 packet of potato chips...magi mee....4 sweets (stuff 3 sweets inside AT SAME TIME)....and 1 whole can of MUG.....yet sugar doesnt even affect me....sugar rush is totally useless shit for me la....forget it...aft drinking finish the MUG...i went to sleep.....and aft tt everythin is darkness le....coz eyes is closed wad!!!

going to training aft every1 bath....retarded life....

i m happi becos i can guess wat is on ur mind....but i m sad becos tt is sth i dun like guessing it correctly....i m equally sian when u r sian...haix...i oso dunno hw to type on le...how good it will be if i can tell u watever i feel.....instead of hiding it....
putting on a smile when i dun even feel like smiling is FUCKIN sucky n spas...
cw....we r tgt!

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

some cock things from daryl blog to spice my boring stupid life a bit...
1. put your music player on shuffle
2. press forward for each question
3. use the song title for the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING
4. comment. be nice. (:

here goes:

How are you feeling today?
千年之戀 - F.I.R
a thousand yrs of love towards u...forever n ever....how true la

How do your friends see you?
浪漫群島 - Ocean
i m a romantic peice of island....wulala...nt bad seh.....

Will you get married?
請在我後悔之前離開我 - farenhaet
pls leave me before i regret....ma de...i m a bit pissed liaoz....

What's your best friend's theme song?
She Bangs - Ricky Martin
part of lyrics..."we gonna rock this town alive"...HOW TRUE MAN...com'on!

What is the story of your life?
I Hate Myself For Loving You
wow la...i m gettin more n more amazed by this test.....

What was high school like?
反覆記號 - Jolin
finding beautiful love and hoping tt we can be closer....

How far ahead can you get in life?
Carols - ayumi
this is a korean/jap song...so i dunno wat the fish it means....wat is carols i oso dunno...paiseh

What's the best thing about your friends?
换日线 - Zhang Zhi Cheng
dunno wat it means....

What's in store for this weekend?
泛泛之輩 - wu kequn
i m juz an ordinary person this weekend...so i shall retire from my throne of boss of wateva gang for this week.....

What song describes you?
金斯頓的夢想 - taoze
woah...i din noe i haf a dream..if i realli haf 1...it is U!!!

To describe your grandparents?
My story,your song
watever....i m starting to feel sian

How is your life going?
分裂 - jay chou
haix...separation sia.....DIE LIAOZ......

What song will they play at your funeral?
愛你 - Cyndi
wat a happy song for a funeral....i tink the priest at my funeral will be dam bui song ba...

How does the world see you?
生命中的遺憾
i m a regret in life....wt fish....aiya quite true since i nvr achieve anythin before....

Will you have a happy life?
历史考试前夕 - liang wen fu
u tink i will be happy when it is the eve of a history exam?why is studies pestering me la!

What do your friends really think about you?
One Night In Beijing - Xing Yue Tuan
1 night-stand guy meh..ma de...u guys thinking abt me is totally wrong la....i m faithful de!

Do people secretly lust after you?
龍捲風 - jay chou
they treat me like tornado...see liaoz muz run de...lolz...so sad la...i sian le...

How can i make myself happy?
Hide Track - wu kequn
so i shuld hide myself from others la.....tt means...BE A LONER!!!!

What should you do with your life?
高手 - wilber pan
wow la..i like this....i m a pro...so i shuld do watever i wan....while others follow me!

Will you ever have children?
暧昧 - yang chen lin
if i haf ai mei wif other gals...i tink tt means i will haf children ba...dunwan soccer team can le..i cnt afford it.....

wat a lame test...waste my time....i zao le...bbz

BANKAI!!!

today went to econs lecture...ma de...sleeping session for me....totally waste quite a lot of time dere...shuldnt haf gone sia.....

went for lunch aft tt wif wushu de ppl....finally i pluck up my courage.....i din regret tt move....mabbe i will be less troubled now le....

aft tt come back for wushu....den train n train lor...quite sleepy n tiring...i tink sleeepy becos weather too hot la...SLEEP LA!!!....den train n train again...i tink i sux man...but who cares ba.....cw is nt here wif me today...so sad la.....

shuwen...jiayou for life in HCI...u promised to come back every friday de...if u break promise..i jiu dun love u anymore le.....

a tiring day today....drained of all my energy le....
i haf done wat i can...and everythin is still ok ba....but i still feel jealous whenever u look so close wif other guys...haha....muz try to endure man wilson tan.....
as long as u talk to me....i m contended.... :)
the 45 mins of talk is rather good n comfortable...

BANKAI!!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

today went to sch for maths lecture...purposely went late...coz i hate to be early....den start to sit alone infront lor...den suddenly this stupid spas piece of shit come running into LT4 wif tt retarded looks n running style...DAM ACT CUTE...and ISN'T TT LULU???? she run towards me....i sense danger...BOMB.....she sit beside me...ma de..i qte pissed sia.....ok finally break and she moved house....went to buy some snacks...go in LT4 eat den caught by teacher...lolz la...ma de qte sian...later all my frenz come running over and laugh at me....GG lor....

aft lecture acompany shuwen while she wait for principle to come...den principle come le still muz wait...den in e end....the principle nvr even see her once....i dun understand....mi n kr go in question a bit den come out le...i can onli say tt i m a humji kia....i got words i wanna say out but i dun dare....dis feeling realli sux.....i wanna shoot the receiptionist at the counter why isit tt a 6 pointer who can be qualified to join AJ family and even waited from 9am to 6pm and she wasn't even given a chance to see the principle....i was realli on fire.....ppl getting 14 points r happily getting the appeal notice while a 6 pointer is being denied the chance...she cried and i realli at a loss....whenever gals cry...i realli dunno wat to do...everytime see tv gals cry...the guys beri zai 1...console until the words sound so GOLDEN.....mi leh?...onli can provide tissue paper when go out can buy at 30 cents....haix...i sux man....

anyway send shuwen home....the bus journey was nt bad....at some points i realli forgot abt my troubles...i wonder if shuwen realli cheered up le....but cryin doesnt help anythin....cry for tt moment due to sadness is ok...but aft tt....we gotta move on.....sort of see sher's shadow in shuwen.....coz their plight is roughly the same.....haix....if onli tt time sher is nt forced to go HCI...my life story might be different...and a great difference.......

i feel tt sometimes....no matter how hard we try....we cnt win fate.....fate seems to play wif ppl's lives....and here we are...being the pawns of fate.....
"the difference between the possible and the impossible lies in DETERMINATION"...this is the words at AJC netball court there....it was total bullshit...wif determination, best effort, heart and soul....somethings juz cnt be changed....
life sux....tt is y when babies are born...they cry.....this is becos deep inside...they noe they r gonna start their sufferings in life.....
BORN TO SUFFER; BORN TO DIE.....perfect sia....and i wanna scold FUCK to god if he realli exist coz he is obviously nt doing his job....
tiredness, whenever i try to salvage....somethin worse juz come up....i realli at limit le....
天大，地大， 我最大！ i m the boss of my life...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

today went out wif lcpsk EXCEPT ys.....went to a park which i dunno wat la...den we play bridge whole day dere...it was quite fun coz my cards always beri good....den keep owning until the rest sian....aft tt we went yishun stadium due to my request...i did some pull-ups den run 2.4km....i did all those juz to forget things....i wan to tire myself....to stop myself from thinking....and quite funny....i run until like mad den i run 5th round i tot run finish le...timing 9 min 50 sec....so it is juz 5 rounds la..dun care la....aft 1st round i feel like giving up le lor.....i tink my mental strength realli sux....always wan to gif up when meet into obstacles...welll....i m a humji coward.....haix....
aft tt we went to eat....and talk cock....den before going home....we saw DUAK....my dog...long time no see him le...see him 1st action is to whack his stomach....lol....long time bo bully him le...so bully shuang....talk for like 20+ mins den go home...

so a news come by and a decision is made......a major decision tt changes everythin
this is the best choice perhaps although it hurts....

"i rather u dun tell me anythin than to lie to me"
u tink i feel good lying to u?....i felt so bloody spas.....
to tell u tt the gal is _____ when it is actually u....
but u haf guessed it and i feel u r avoiding me....
so i rather we be best frenz like in the past than to let u avoid me....
it is a painful decision.....but it is the best decision i can do....
i will love u secretly...becos u changed my life......
without u....i wun be standing here now.....

我放你一个人生活 我知道就算继续结果还是没结果

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

making a blur mistake becos i m thinking of u....
nearly die without knowing why

seeing scenes i dun realli feel like seeing...
i nvr realli like to steal attention from others

training hard at wushu in order to forget things....
i m straining my muscles n stamina

thinking hard abt my nxt move....
i m at a total loss and everythin is a flop

crying while i bath....
so wat m i sad abt? this or that?

shouting at my siblings n mum due to my fustrations....
a great great quarrel occurred

leaving house with some chem notes at11pm aft the quarrel....
being a loner at some void deck enjoying the breeze

studying and drinking coke at the void deck is quite cool at times ba....
all these are to make me forget troubles

blogging right now aft the study session at the void deck....
my blog is precioussss to me

loving u and feeling pain....
to do or die

BANKAI!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

i dun care le...i realli dun care le...obvious jiu obvious le....lets die ba....anyway almost whole world noe le...even if i nvr say...is so bloody obvious la...i dun tink she dunno or wat lo...maybe realli so blur la...but...sian la...i oso dunno.....i tink i sux la...always so humji n shy....sian le lor....

tiredness overwhelming me....juz let me sleep ba...perhaps forever is the best....

if wanna sleep a while....eat 1 sleeping pill....
if wanna sleep a bit more longer....eat 2 sleeping pill...
if wanna sleep forever....eat whole bottle of sleeping pill....
R.I.P (Rax-In-Pills cum Rest-In-Peace)

BANKAI!!!

today leg reach limit...realli quite a gg.....OH MAN my performance is bloody screwed up la....coz i forgot the last part of my taolu....sian diao...qte pissed at myself....like a spas doing spas things on the spas stage....

anyway...happy bdae to chuan n junhui....lolz.....

recently nth much to blog le...actually nt nth to blog la...but cnt talk abt it so openly...so forget it ba....

studies is gettin more n more tiring for me...

my ulcer is pissing me off coz it keeps levelling up.....

u keep asking me....but if i i realli tell u 1 day tt u r the one....is tt the end to our frenship?....
your continuous asking is putting me in a spot....to tell or not to tell.....
i will protect u forever n ever....
幻想比现实更美丽

BANKAI!!!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

today leg alrdy bad situation due to yst heats le...den wushu training...ma de...so hiong...quite a gg...leg like jelly...i lift 3cm above floor = pain....espicially left leg...dam seriously injured...wonder how to perform tml...now i noe how to tear tendon...is as easy as tearing foolscap......

jiao lian had a minor accident...wulala...who ask him nvr gimme satay to eat...ORBI!!!

aft saying everythin out....felt more comfortable le....yst is indeed a bad bad day for me...but today is better...


u r guessing it soon le...nt bad...wondering if u alrdy noe le ma....lolz...heck care ba....
随时都做好了面对你的心理准备

BANKAI!!!

Monday, March 05, 2007

this world sux....it sux.....

wat a spas spas world...

BANKAI!!!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

today wateva gang outing....1st location my hse....lolz....i dota-ed 2 rounds while kr n cw watching...muz haf bored dem inside out...sixu is watching tv treating my home as his....wth man...cw is helping himself to my siblings dinner.....we decided to go out...but heaven likes to fite against shuai ge....so it rained heavily...we went to amk....ate a lot at the market dere....wif sixu the swiss bank as the main source....(the fotos now cock up so i cnt open the zip file tt cw send me...suan le...shall nt upload it)

aft tt we went to play pool...i m tio suanned until like no tml liddat....wow la...keep giving free balls...i can onli use 1 word to describe me...KIND is the word man....aft tt cw is late for home...so he rush back...and we r officially dismissed....

talking to cw juz nw and kr now....they haf been wif me for 5 and 6 yrs respectively....so they quite understand me...which nt a lot ppl can do so....perhaps i shuld start letting ppl understand me...or maybe i shuld juz stay this way....

the way i think of this world is too simple...why do ppl like to think so far n much....
being simple = being stupid......

BANKAI!!!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

天使

你就是我的天使 保护着我的天使
从此我再没有忧伤 你就是我的天使
给我快乐的天使 甚至我学会了飞翔
飞过人间的无常 才懂爱才是宝藏
不管世界变得怎么样 只要有你就会是天堂
像孩子依赖着肩膀 像眼泪依赖着脸庞
你就像天使一样 给我依赖 给我力量
像诗人依赖着月亮 像海豚依赖海洋
你是天使 你是天使
你是我最初和最后的天堂


angel, angel....pls stay by my side....gimme energy....for me to complete this phase of my life....
ur words become my encouragement....ur presence makes me feel safe.....so stand by me ba!

BANKAI!!!

BANKAI!!!