Wednesday, April 11, 2007
10:12 PM
today is my last individual event....nan gun...i dun expect much coz i realli rarely practice...is RARE until cannot be any rarer le.....but i did better than wat i ownself expect myself to do....
when all the scores flash....i saw all above 8.....raw score in e end....8.06....WOOTS....
contestant no. 636...due to insufficient time....minus 0.1.....final score....7.96.....
the feeling of sian-ness emerge....totally sian diao....and i mean REALLI sian diao.....
the other contestants continue to display their taolu and 1 by 1...their score overtake me....
i got 6th....and why?
juz being short of 3s in the taolu cause me to lose my medal....from 4th to 6th.....
the feeling of bu gan xin sets in....it kills me totally...i din expect much and if i lose...is ok....but why did heaven gif it to me n juz before i receive it...he crush it in front of my face.....3 second....i ponder.....why cnt i do JUZ 3 second slower....JUZ 3 second n everythin will be different.....i will be smiling instead of frowning....JUZ 3 second n ajc will get 1 more point.....JUZ 3 second n jiao lian will feel satisfied...is nt the matter of whether i get a treat from jiao lian anot....but the matter of i lose my last individial event medal becos of 3 second....it culd be my last individual event nt juz this yr...perhaps my life le...enduring all the pain n strains....continue to train hard at last minute hoping tt i can salvage de situation...before going into the carpet....i tell myself...I CAN ONLI WIN....coz every1 is watching....and u r encouraging me...but i failed every1....but the person i failed de most....is MYSELF.....
i can onli say....
sorry jiao lian....haix....i haf disappointed u....
sorry yvonne....i still din make it in e end....
sorry aj wushu...i din contribute 1 more point to our score...
sorry gao yi....even after u teach me some of de things n offer to lend me ur rod...i still fail...
i dun feel like going sch tml....
i dun feel like facing any1....
i dun feel like talking....
3秒真的能改变一切，区区的3秒，我就失去了一切，我的希望，大家的期望，安初的欲望。
BANKAI!!!